Friday, January 29, 2010

R2P2: Day 46

Weight: 196.2 lbs
Loss of: 1.6 lb today
Total Loss: 27.6 lb
Total over all 87.6

Morning Folks!

So I'm releasing fat at an amazing rate this week. I think my body is apologizing for the stall by these amazing losses. :) YEAY!

I have about 5-6 bags I put on my front porch of fat clothes and some baby clothes (from my son) that ARC picked up today. Purging is good! I have a bathtub we do not use up stairs. I have decided to use it as my 'get rid of' place so I can close the doors and Not look at it, but then just grab bags and fill them up. I put towels, clothes, books, anything that will 'get OUT of my house'. Also one less bathtub to use and have to have cleaned. :) heh. I have started using this bathroom as my bathroom and let my husband have his own. We have two full bathrooms upstairs. We just don't need that. We have one downstairs (but a guest bath). Anywho.

So last night I had cod smothered in a mustard with cauliflower. Pretty good. I would rather bake it with tomatoes and basil like my brother in law did. He is on the diet and already fits into pants that have been aluding him! :) YEAY HIM! He has 30 lbs he wants to lose. One observation he has made- this diet he is not losing in his face right away. All I can tell him is that in past diets he must have been losing structural fat or something. My face didn't get 'BAM" thinner... but it was in stages. I do see my face now and feel it's weird and too thin. NOt ghost thin, but you can see my cheak bones. I will need a picture to show you. I don't like it totally. I never minded a slightly plumper face. LOL. My face looks so long now. Which makes haircuts nicer.

This diet sure takes its time with problem areas, but it's an equal opportunity protocol. It takes all over the place giving us an even look. Makes the whole process look very natural. It's nice. My thighs are going down nicely! :) I haven't worn my jeans in a week. (Buming around the house in baggier pants) I'm curious how they will look on me, in the past pre-diet I was scared on not trying on pants for a week, normally I would outgrow them a little. :P Always hated the washer/dryer. Now I put them in to get more wear out of the pants! :) LOL

anywho. Have a wonderful day in your phase doing what you need to do! :)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

R2P2: Day 45

Weight: 197.8 lbs
Loss of: 1 lb today
Total Loss: 26 lb
Total over all 86

Hello Ladies,

I think I am out of my slump. I was losing inches but not pounds and now I am losing pounds! YEay!

This last week has been a bit stressful. Our house feels a bit more in order so I can deal. I have some things I need done on my plate. I just need to finish things and take the time. I just lake motivation lately. No clue why, but I do.

I sewed a bunch of dice bags this week for the win! :) heh. I now I have to update a clients website. I need time for that, and I haven't found it as much as I wanted. But I need to get it done!

I have 'explored' a bit more with my food. I have done a quick dish of tuna or chicken in a can with tomatoes and mustard. Oh my that is good. Fast and easy and tasty! :) A winning combo.

I have wonderful arms again. I loved my arms. they always got so thin but I look at them from the side and I see the droop. Toning will take that away I know, but It is still there to observe. heh.

Off to take some time working on the website. Talk to you gals later. Thanks for being here with me. Sorry I haven't read much of other blogs lately. My ipod app is broken and doesn't let me read your blogs. It is much harder for me to sit at my computer and read them. :( But I will make the effort. I"m sorry I'm so far behind lately! :P

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

R2P2: Day 43

Weight: 199.2 lbs
Loss of: 1.4 lb today
Total Loss: 24.6 lb
Total over all 84.6

So I broke into Onderland!!

now everyone be really quiet. Lets not scare that away!

I've been stuck at 200.6 for forever! okay, maybe a week, but it felt forever!

So we will see. I've been putting my head in the sand lately. I've been unmovitated in various areas, but I have dumped several bags of size 26 clothes to the curb for ARC organization to pick up! :) I'm trying to empty the house.

I need to sew bags though.

I hope my mood picks up now that I am hopefully on a downward loss! :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

R2P2: Day 39

Weight: 200.6 lbs
Loss of: 0 lb today
Total Loss: 23.2 lb
Total over all 83.2

4th verse same as the first? heh.

So ya, Same wait for the 4th day! :P I think I am sitting here for a while. This has to be a past set point. Only down point of the diet it seems. HEHE.

I'm almost done with my drops, but I have another bottle that I will be taking up till my vacation. I think I will be off HCG for 2 weeks this time. I can deal with that.

I am noticing that my body is shrinking, though the numbers are not. Did you notice this too when you hit a past weight?

We cleaned the rooms yesterday. The couch is moved in the corner w/ the tv. It's very cute. There is a lot of junk stuff, but the furniture it moved, now I can go in and declutter.

Lavender- I'm happy you mentioned it. I think It came to me when you wrote that post! :) I got too scared to get rid of it, we might move in the next year, and I could use that couch in the family room. I want a living room and family if possible! :)

I was sewing like a mad woman yesterday as well. I got my 2 special orders finished, and then I have a bunch of 1/2 finished bags that just need the lip hemmed over.

I have a friend who's wife needs a dress. I'm looking forward to making a dress for her, and bonding with her. I play online video games with my husband and a bunch of friends. I want to get to know the wifes as well!! They don't geek out like I do. SIGH. I wish more would, we do have a couple wifes that play, but not enough! heh.

I didn't want to be bummed about my lack of loss but this is ridiculous. I think what is going on is that I wonder "What am I doing wrong?" but I'm not, so it's the weight that is currently stuck. But I feel like it's my fault somehow. Maybe I shouldn't eat burger. Maybe I should ... I don't know. hehe. I said I would enjoy burger this time because it started to get a bit chicken chicken chicken for me. Heh.

anyways. It will happen soon! It will. Wish me luck!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

quick update: Take care of yourselves

Hey guys,

I was sitting and thinking. My mom got a huge health scare this week, but the check up found out that she is fine.

It made me think today, what if she was sick? What if she was going to die soon? I would miss her and I don't want her to die.

Which got me thinking. We don't really take good care of ourselves do we? Many of us on the diet are taking control and finally getting healthier, but I'm a daughter who will lose their mother one day. She takes fairly good care of herself for the most part. She has made it a goal to see my son graduate. So that motivates her.

I think of myself and what I put in my body and I go, my son will feel the same fears of losing a mother one day. I want to be there as long as possible for him.

I think we should all realize, it's not just ourselves that we need to be healthy for, but those people who love us, children or mates. Good friends. The neighbor who enjoys meeting you at the mailbox. Your death will leave a hole in this world.

If you don't take care of yourself for you, then think of those around you. Let that motivate you to live one more year longer.

Go to the your doctor, may it be a naturalpath or western typical. Maybe it be blood work, or mammogram. Make sure you keep your mental wellness in check as well. It's not fun to just have a body sitting in a wheel chair when you can't communicate with the person! So it's the whole package deal folks!

Please, keep yourself aware of your body, mind and soul! :)

R2P2: Day 38

Weight: 200.6 lbs
Loss of: .8 lb today
Total Loss: 23.2 lb
Total over all 83.2

3rd verse, same as the 2nd and 1st. :P GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life!!!!! Okay, for the next week. I am SERIOUSLY being teased! I mean. this is a monumental moment to get under. To be in ... ONEDERLAND! (I LOVE that) But NOoooooo. My body says "Wait for it.... Wait for it...." I"m waiting!!!

I forgot to eat yesterday for the most part. heh. I noticed I hadn't consumed anything at 2pm, then I realized with a start "oh crap, I forgot the hcg" So I took a day off from the hcg to see if I can kick start this diet again. :P
I ate late, drank late and went to bed pretty late.

So today is hcg again and a small cheat. I realize that small cheats are getting me to get lower. :P but I won't make that a habit. hehe.

btw: I got a hair cut! :) I Feel 100000X's better. It's 3 inches shorter from long to medium long. I love it. I got it layered and frames my face. Very nice. I'm happy with it.

Though I am not changing on the scale, I do notice that my body is getting smaller. My clothes are fitting better. I look thinner. So I know I am losing inches.

Off to eat and drink! I can't forget. and I won't because I woke up a bit peckish.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

R2P2: Day 36

Weight: 200.6 lbs
Loss of: .8 lb today
Total Loss: 23.2 lb
Total over all 83.2

Hey Folks,

I wasn't going to let the scale get me down, but it is. This has been a hard week for me. I hate being sick. I hate feeling drained. I hate feeling overwhelmed.

The house has gotten to be a total mess. When we redid the floors we moved some furniture upstairs. It is still upstairs taking space. It seems like I live in a total mess, and any time I get headway, the next 'big thing' happens to make my house a mess.

I don't need Martha steward, but I just need organized and clean. I hate that my kid gets popcorn and he feels this need to dump it allllll over. SIGH! Then I get to clean it up.
I hate that I clean up the kitchen till it sparkles, and then it gets messed up by the next morning.

I'm tired. I'm just drained and tired right now. The cold has wiped me. I'm drained when I see the house a mess, and I know I need to get it picked up to feel better. I'm going to look for another cleaning lady. They always 'reset' the house so I feel less overwhelmed and can move forward.
I have a couch that my mom gave me. Expensive nice couch. But it's not fitting into our livestyle anymore. It's a little worn from years of use, and a child. It's not a bad couch, but nothing I would 'sell' because it's not in mint condition. So I want to give it away. But I am so hung up on my mom spending so much money on that stupid couch. It would be a shame just to give it away, but it's taking up 1/2 a bedroom because it doesn't fit in the living room anymore.

Okay- I am just overwhelmed, tired and drained. I'm taking things one at a time. I have a laundry list of things i need to do. Today its cut my fabric to sew bags for a store that buys my bags for dice bags. I need to do that. It's not only some money for me, but it is also inventory they need. Tomorrow I will sew them. I need to write a list of all the 'todo's and get a plan. Just too much to do!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

quick OMG moment! - I've got his pants!

So, I thought for Shoot's and Giggles I would try on my husbands size 38 pants. We wanted to give them away so who cares right. Let me try them on. He is now sitting at a size 34.

Those freaking pants actually fit me. Normally I would have had to sewn both pant holes together to fit one of my thighs. I was totally freaked out by this. In a good way.

I'm trying to clean up his "PILE" of clothes. We found a shirt he gave me for Xmas but I didn't fit into anymore. Size XXL t-shirt with Foamy the Squirrel logo. Well, that thing can now become a tent for me!

I miss out on having a piece of outfit to 'try' to fit into every 2-3 weeks. Everything fits me now. I had gotten rid of all my under size 18. Dresses, pants, my high school clothes I finally gave up on. Sigh. They were SO freaking awesome! You know the kind- the cool tights with the BIG sweaters. :D I'm a early 90's girl.
anywho. New clothes! :) MOve on!

But it's nice to have those little jewels. I even grabbed a shirt my mother had given me to cut up. It was a size 12. I can fit into that. I just need to go to goodwill and spend a hard earned 4 dollars on a few things I can 'fit into' before I just give it back to them. ;) I even fit in my my mom's size 2 Chico's shirt she gave me. FREEDOM!

anyways. I was so freaking blown away by the pants I had to share: Size 38 x 34. That is what I wear in a Mans pant! :)

R2P2: Day 36

Weight: 200.6 lbs
Loss of: .8 lb today
Total Loss: 23.2 lb
Total over all 83.2

MOrning folks.

I think I have finished the path of ick. I go to the doctors today. I feel better today, just a bit tired from waking up earlier then I want.

My son gets to go on a train with oma and opa today. Their way of doing something with him and babysitting while I go to the doctor.

So I was frustrated with losing nothing on the antibiotics so I decided to take 2 proboitics yesterday and a slice of cheese. I couldn't take it anymore. I was like "If I won't lose being so good, I'm eating cheese!"

It's a cheat, but at the same time I'm doing good with eating a bit of cheese to get some real fat into my body. Sounds weird I bet, but I am so scared of the gall bladder attacking me again I think I do the cheats for that purpose.
It doesn't help that these cheats seem to get me lower on the scale. I am, though, definatly, losing inches. I fit better in my clothes, especially the shirts.

By far, the 2nd round has been the hardest. I crave things more then I did the first round. I also realize around the 40th day I go bonkers for food on top of it.

I ate 2 apples yesterday because I got hungry in the afternoon and I have stopped eating fruit in the morning. Sigh. No clue why, just don't. I realized in the after noon being so freaking hungry that I should eat something and I had an extra fruit. I think 2 apples is a bit much, but they are cheap and easy to deal with. I don't like frozen strawberries as much. I don't like frozen fruit for that matter I realized. I will tolerate and have a smoothy from time to time, but honestly- fresh is where it is at! They taste 100 times better. All my grape fruit is sitting in the garage getting over ripe. :P I hate that. I hate wasting food so I will find the best ones. :)

Well, the kid wants to play on 'mommy's computer' so I will stop blabbing and get some work done around the house till I need to leave. :) I always get in trouble with the time when I blog. :) heh.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

R2P2: Day 33
Weight: 201.4 lbs
Loss of: .2 lb today
Total Loss: 22.4 lb
Total over all 82.4

Second Verse, Same as the first.

So two days sitting at 201.8, now the 2nd day of sitting at 201.4. SiGH!

I blame the antibiotics. :P But I do feel a lot better!

So, I will be taking 1 mroe day of the antibiotics and then its off for a dose of probotics. :D YEAY! My tummy will feel MUCH better! :)

My cold is waning. I'm feeling better than craptastic now! :) My son has been really good for a 3year old through this process.

It's funny, I bought some more costco underware in size Large 2 weeks ago, now I seem to be ready for Medium!

Another cool thing- my mom is thin. She wears a size 14 bathing suit. She is much taller than me, so it's expected. By the Mexico trip I should be just fine for my size 14 bathing suit! WOOT! I can put it on, but it's a Tiny bit too small. 20 lbs will do wonders! If I can ever get there. SIgh. I will. We will see how it goes after I get probotics in my system.

anywho. Did I tell you my asparagus recipe? I normally would take a powered packet of asparagus soup out of my cupboard and heat it in water, but not for p2. So I was sad because you can't get the soup in America, so we always get them from Mexico or Germany.
Now I take a serving of asparagus, a serving of chicken, cut it all up in a mixing bowl, fill it up with water and microwave it. (Read: Lazy) Then after about 7 to 8 minutes I try the asparagus to see if it is done. Then blend it (careful! hot stuff!) and EAT! mmmmmmmm. It was a little watery tonight, but just put less water, but I usee the stuff I boil the asparagus in. :) enjoy!

okay. :) Take care folks!

Friday, January 15, 2010

R2P2: Day 31

Weight: 201.8 lbs
Loss of: 1.2 lb today
Total Loss: 22 lb
Total over all 82

I'm feeling craptastic! :)

Antibotics. Neti pot 2x a day. Sleeping while laying up. Not comfy but at least it gives my ears a chance to drain.

My right ear seems less clogged, thus doing better. My left ear feels more clogged and thus is doing worse. SIGH!

I will be trying some vinegar in the ears, and doing the oil thing as suggested. I would rather do these things, but with ears I get so sensitive and head for antibotics though new studies show you shoulnd't. :P Old habits die hard!

I had a movement today and the scale went UP! :P Someone needs to train that scale that that is NOT the way it works! If you eliminate you go DOWN! heh.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

R2P2: Day 30

Weight: 201.8 lbs
Loss of: 1.2 lb today
Total Loss: 22 lb
Total over all 82

My cold has moved from my brain into my face. :( I have been gifted with infection in both ears. My doctor is prescribing, blech, antibiotics. :( I will have my pro-botic on hand!

I've been using the neti pot today, plus took a claritin D to help decongest me a bit. My ears are a mess, my drain pipes don't work. I need to, after I get better, really pursue this. My chiropractor has worked on opening me up, as has my doctor. Nothing seems to work. I think they are tiny and don't work. My ears always feel plugged.

any ideas for home remedies for unplugging ears?

I hate being sick! :( But on the bright side, I did lose some today.
I took 1 day off from the hcg, but continue to eat the 500. Then the next day you go back onto the hcg and have a decent 'cheat'. So I had .88 ounces of cheese and a small teaspoon of peanut butter at the end of the day with my apples. Mmmmm. Happy Steffi! :)

Take care all! Please keep yourselves healthy or on the way to recovery if you got this bad cold!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

R2P2: Day 30

Weight: 203 lbs
Loss of: .2 lb today
Total Loss: 20.8 lb
Total over all 80.8

The same. Sigh. I did eat some extra chicken last night because I was WAY hungry. I only took 1 day off from hcg. I'm sticking with it till the end of February for my 2nd 'one week off' for Mexico.

Good news: My husband can come to Mexico. Now to buy him a ticket with our mileage! :D yeay me! Yeay my husband! :)

I'm feeling like crap still. I tried the warm wet socks and warm dry socks under warm blankets, but my blankets wouldn't be nice to me. Every time I moved the socks would feel so COLD! I think it worked a little, I took them off at 5am after going to bed at around 1am. I was SO HUNGRY and miserable that I ate 5 oz of grapefruit and a cup of warm tea water. I think that is why I also didn't lose.

I'm developing a pregnancy bump in front because my sides have gone down so much. I LOOK fatter because my tummy in front is all by it's self. No side fat to make it look thinner! :)

Thank you new posters. I appreciate your feedback and that I can help or inspire or pass along something you might not have heard. I also love my old posters too! I have grown to enjoy you guys as a family! I look forward to seeing encouraging words. I look forward to finding out what you all are up to! I might be the lazy niece/aunt in the back but I do get off my butt once in a while!

okay- I'm off to drink more tea and take a couple asprin. Maybe some more resting on couch will help!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

R2P2: Day 29

Weight: 203 lbs
Loss of: .2 lb today
Total Loss: 20.8 lb
Total over all 80.8

My head cold is worse. I can breath, but I plan on using christy's advice w/ the socks tonight. I totally forgot last night after I was already snug in bed.

I took my vitamins. I will take a b-12 again and maybe a cranberry pill.

I am not taking hcg today because low losses for the last 3 days. Then tomorrow a small cheat. Should help speed things up again.


Monday, January 11, 2010

R2P2: Day 28

Weight: 203.2 lbs
Loss of: .4 lb today
Total Loss: 20.6 lb
Total over all 80.6

You know what sort of sucks. Losing 80 lbs and having a candid 'on an event' picture taken of you and you still look fatter then you feel. heh. :P

I got a headcold and today is the big 'ikcy' feeling day. I took: 1 asprin, my 2 multi-vitamin, potassium, and a B-12. I will take some cayenne pepper pills later to help. I also used the Neti-pot to clear out my nose a little. Still feel pretty miserable. :P But will manage.

I was spending too much time over at Christy in Seattle's blog. ;) hehe JUST JOKING! I think I got it either from my mother or running errands. I blame my period and low immune system. I also wasn't good at taking my vitamines. :P Sigh.

I made some chicken broth soup. The chicken tastes very broken apart, but the broth is most excellent!

I'm going to get maxiumum rest and pump myself reasonably with vitamins and b-12.
Any other symtom drowning ideas/advice would be welcome! I know we can't get rid of the cold, but I don't mind getting rid of the crappy feeling. :)

Tomorrow if I don't lose more then .5 I will be taking a day off per my doctors request. She said if I loss less then .5 for 3 days that I take a day off from hcg, do the 500 VLCD, then go back onto hcg the day after and have a cheat. Not a whole pie cheat, but eat a piece of cheese sort of cheat. Maybe add a boiled egg. mmmmm. I think this will kick start me.
I know that I can do this once a week if need be. I don't think I care about the loss so much as being able to cheat. :P THis round has been really focused on the 'don't cheat now steff'. This round has been harder in my willpower. My first round wasn't this tough. I mean cheats like - oh, I would love a hot dog like i used to have.

We used to do that in the house, and my husband did it this weekend. Got hot dog buns, and would make a hot dog with ketchup. I would cover it with mustard. I never liked ketchup for it's sugar. And then a side of Frito's. I miss that, and I didn't even know it. It was so trivial at the time. A food to make when we were having a family lazy day at home. mmmmmmmmmm. I miss that. I will have that on my next break. Maybe have hot dogs for lunch in Mexico. mmmmmm. heh.

We are still working on getting the husband along. His boss is out today. :S When he is wanted the most. heh.

My brother in law is going to start the diet. He is on a medication. I have to find out if he talked to his doctor, but has anyone known of medication messing with hcg, or vis versa? I adviced him to go to this doctor, we will see what the doctor said, if the guy even knew about hcg. I don't want to set up my brother in law for something bad. I am not on meds, nor was my husband. I have friends that are not on meds either so it's easy to say 'read the manual and learn' We did a lot of talking and we talked often till it was old hat for us all. I'm still learning things.

anyways. Talk later. Off to go finish my soup and hide under a blanket reading a good book. :) or doze. heh

Sunday, January 10, 2010

R2P2: Day 27

Weight: 203.6 lbs
Loss of: 1 lb today
Total Loss: 20.2 lb
Total over all 80.2

No movement on the scale. I did take a smallllll bite of my husbands pizza yesterday because I was dying w/o food. I had a serious sugar crash. Tiny bite did help. SO I attribute it to that. Yes, a cheat, but we were no where around for good food. I should have gotten a salad with chicken while at Costco, but thought I could make it home. heh.

THough I bet I wouldn't have lost even if I did eat that. I didn't get all my water in and no losses are bound to happen.

I've been so focused on moving forward and adding to my total weight, that I forget to look at how I am really doing this time. Wow. 20 lbs so far. That is pretty impressive over all to me and I am totally seeing my body become thinner. It's nice.

I don't feel so ROUND anymore. I'm short so I become more round. heh.

We watched a movie, my husband and I. I ate before hand this time, I also brought in a grape fruit, but I wasn't going to bring in my water bottle nor was I going to pay 3 dollars for water. I was thirsty but had a good dose of water before I went in. All in all we saved ourselves 100 bucks ;) LOL. We didn't buy soda or popcorn. We had been getting use to buying water for 2.50 and the kids popcorn and candy box. I get the popcorn and the hubby gets the candy. I don't really enjoy candy as I do popcorn. I LOVE popcorn. Sigh. No popcorn for me. We even moved to an air popper because I started eating micro-popcorn every night. Expensive after a while in both wallet and health. There is crap in the popcorn stuff, and you can control butter/salt ratio yourself on air popped. I miss it. Sigh. My favorite nightly snack. HUGE bowl of popping corn w/ a little butter on top. Maybe some salt.

It's funny, I never know what I will write in these blogs, and I amuse myself where they end up. It's like, wow. I wrote a lot about popcorn.

Wish our household a little luck that my husband will be able to go on vacation!

I am hoping to reach 180 before that vacation! My stupid arbitrary goal. It will just keep me on the strait and narrow though. I will totally take whatever comes. I just want to fit better in the size 14 swimsuit and all.

Well, off to my mother's for dinner of roasted cauliflower and chicken. OH I will share my REAL asparagus and chicken soup. Mmmmm

Saturday, January 9, 2010

R2P2: Day 26

Weight: 203.6 lbs
Loss of: 1 lb today
Total Loss: 20.2 lb
Total over all 80.2

Hello All,

So I bought a size 14 swimsuit at Costco. :D I can fit into it!! I am too big for it, but in 30 lbs I should be good. They won't have the suits in a couple months so I thought i would.

I have lost 80 lbs so far! YEAY!

I'm tired and grouchy and I stood up for myself a bit too much at the store today. We were in the self check out. A lady cut in line, I got a bit loud on it, and she and her husband gave us a look. I was like, um your rude to cut in line, please get back into your line. She said it was too slow. Then I told her that she choose to cut in front of us on the slow line and needs to not cut in front of me again!

One of those self check out lanes at Walmart, 2 on one side, and 2 on the other side. You stand in the middle and wait. She and her husband just cut on the right side. We made slightly elevated "I can't believe that" remarks to each other (me and the 2 other people she cut in front) then when that line was too slow she moved over to the left side. We were agast. I said something, I got nasty looks from her. :P I had people behind me actually talk loudly about 'Oh my god, what is that lady doing' and when I turned around and apologized they were like "No, good for you, we are talking about the line cutter" heh. I was so upset that i had to walk out and let my husband finish the purchase. The lady wouldn't even leave after the clerk asked her to get back on her side.

I realized, I am tired of being taken advantage of, or have people do the 'wrong thing' and then get upset when I call it out. Like my friend saying things about my son and if I tell him to be more reserved, he would get upset at me standing up for myself. WHY WHY WHY do people get upset when others stand up for themsevles? What is wrong witht he world?

Ya, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but it was so infurating. I'm not having a good week am I? hehe.

But my losses make up for it!

I did stay up till 3am watching movies though. It was fun. I started Bleak HOuse. WOW that is a cool show. realized it was long at around 2:30, I would have stayed up later if it wasn't for my son waking up. I went up there to check on him, and I fell asleep. heh. anywho.

Sorry I have been posting such bitchy posts lately. I'm doing okay over all. Like any sane person I need sleep and food. (Oh, it was 3:30 at the time and I hadn't eaten all day except for 3 slices of grapefruit and a bite of chicken at home around 11am. :P Not good on this diet to go out on errands when you haven't had lunch. :P

But I'm totally stoked for the swimsuit AND my husband is going to try to get the time off if possible. I told him It wouldn't be a family vacation with out him. I would miss him too much. I want him to be a part of this whole adventure! Also a wife in a sexy swimsuit! hehe.

Friday, January 8, 2010

R2P2: Day 25

Weight: 204.6 lbs
Loss of: 1.4 lb today
Total Loss: 19.2 lb
Total over all 79.2

I've been bored of eating. I would love a pill that just makes me satisfied. heh. My husband has gone back to work and is gone a good portion of the day (12 hours) and our son isn't dealing well over all with that. He won't go to bed easily. Serious Seperation Anxiety. I don't know what is the best gentle way to dealing with this. Do we just give him a lot of daddy time when he is home or try to limit it even further to get him to calm out? Should daddy put him to bed or should I?

This morning was really good, last night putting little guy to bed was not. It didn't help that I had a friend over that was all "He's three right..." and sort of tried to imply a lot. He has called my son a brat in the past and it really gets my blood boiling. I try to explain but it doesn't get through. Our son has some bratty attitudes, but I'm sorry, our kid won't turn off like some robot nor does our child get put into a box like a yappy dog. He is a freaking kid. I know my friend is upset in a way that we had a kid because it disrupts his way of life with us. :S Oh well. He is though, complicated enough that it's not just cut and dry. He has moments where he really interacts well with our son and for the most part, our son gets sad when he leaves.
It's just a stress for me because everyone has a strong opinion (read into that- a serious 'you better do this for me' ) of what we should be doing with our son. Dont give him that, do give him that, oh, he should have this skill already, oh he should be doing that. Leave me and my son alone, and let my family - daddy, mommy and child - deal with how we are going to deal with this. If you don't like what we are doing, your more then welcome not to come over, your more then welcome to not have him at your home. I respect that. But he is such a good kid. He is polite, he says thank you, and please. He is very curious and detailed. He is already a bit OC, granted. He plays SO amazing with stranger kids in play areas. He is very gentle with kids he see's as younger than him. If reminded to share he will gladly give his toy to the younger kids, though he does get a bit defensive about older kids. I don't blame him, every time we are in the children's museum the older kids try to grab all the trains from him. No one really plays with him at the playground, but he tries. God that breaks my heart. To have two older kids ignore my son, yet this little guy chases them and tries to partake. He is NOT a bad kid and I wish people would just BACK OFF! Yes, he gets a LOT of love from us, and that sometimes means he gets a little more from us. he gets to stay up later because it works for all of us in the family. No he is not poddy trained because I haven't figured it out. Yes he uses the poddy when asked, he actually can sit on the big poddy by himself.

I guess I am protective of me and my family and I get grumpy when people want something for my son that I really don't think he needs. He has so many amazing qualities and it's my right to mess him up! I don't need help! heh.

I'm doing okay over all. The pms has worn off. I just have been tired. We are dealing with some MAJOR seperation anxiety by my son and husband. He wants 100% of my husband attention and that is wearing us all a bit thin because it's right now so extreme. We have never had this. He is good when we drop him off at grandparents. Though Today has been good. he hasn't woken up in the middle of the night screaming for daddy.(Okay he did at 10pm ) but not after we all went to bed. He even said, as we both came downstairs "Daddy's at work" and moved on to his computer. Lets hope this works! :) Lets hope whatever happened stays this way!

Ya, I know I posted a lot about my kid, but I guess I always get this way after a night that doesn't go perfect smooth for my friend and he has to start degrading my child. I tried to explain and I said "forget it" and ignored him. But unfortunately I still carry around the upset.

anywho. I'm proud of my progress with weight loss. I had some smaller losses and then BAM! :) I like these big losses. With such progress as I am doing right now I can be to 180 by the time I step onto the airplane at the end of Feb.

Wishing everyone a good day!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

R2P2: Day 24

Weight: 206 lbs
Loss of: .4 lb today
Total Loss: 17.8 lb
Total over all 77.8

Morning Folks!
I'm catching up on many of your blogs! I just need to respond to several of them. I read them in the tub, then email certain entries I want to comment on. I can't comment to them on the ipod. :(

I'm a tiny, tiny bit disappointed on the recent slow down. But at the same time I told myself I wouldn't so by the time I finish writing this I will be okay! :) heh. I have thinner thighs. OH I forgot to mention I didn't have to walk sideways through the plane when I went to San Diego for the cruise. I didn't bump into people and have to say "excuse me... pardon me" (THUNDER THIGHS COMING THROUGH)

I find little things I am grateful for. It's fun to see how many little things come into our lives to make us grateful to be alive, even when a big piece of turd gets dropped into our laps. Regardless of what it is.
Is'nt life, in the end, about the little things? So many little things. There are more tiny bugs in this world than there are large creatures. ya. Think about that.

I see Christy In Seattle is GOING RED! and making a statement about many things in her life she wants to change or bring HUGE awareness of. I so agree. I am willing to promote her GOING RED but I think it really has motivated me to go Pink for breast cancer (both my aunt and grandmother dealt with it, my grandmother twice) and something that is near and dear to me is my mom's Rheumatoid arthritis. This horrible disease does not allow her to do all the things she used to love. She loved to Run and be very mobile. She is doing her best now, but she does medicate. She is in pain.

I do hate that there are so many things out there that hurt people. So many diseases that have causes behind them to help find a cure, bring awareness and get rid of it. Sometimes I wonder if we look at what causes these things, it seem it's enviroment, what we put in our body, yet there are so many people out there that are apathetic to what they put into their bodies. where they choose to live that if they thought about it for 2 seconds they would realize it's killing them.

I think, us on hcg, are learning the food aspect of the 'it's killing me' syndrome. That these industries allow for such things. They are killing off their user base? But "We'll make more" mentality is out there. We are in the fast lane! We are speed! We need it today or it's too late! Who cares if it kills us! Oh, the big companies take our health into consideration, why would they want to hurt us? Because it's cheaper, someone elses lively hood is at stake. It's about the MOney! Not the health. That's why our health care sucks in the USA. More doctors go to specific fields because it pays off the loans and makes them money. We have a shortage of general practitioners. We need more doctors in our area, yet when two clinics opened up in the same area, there was a squabble of 'this is my turf' F@(#& OFF people! It's about the people, not about your bottom line. Okay, to stay open it's about the bottom line but come on. There is enough sick people in need of general doctors!

Wow I am rambling all over the place. I'm just opening up and letting it out. And of course I need to leave in 15 minutes for a doctors appointment. LOL. I've done nothing. gaw. hehe. I see the 'crack your bones' doctor. I love him. He is so awesome. One of the only doctors office that doesn't look like one, more like a meditation facility. My son doesn't mind either. he is afraid of doc offices.
anywho. I better go and get something to eat. :P

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The tickets are bought

I'm going to Mexico!

My father misunderstood the buying process online and I found out from a rep that they save 30% of seating for people like me with young kids. So they will make sure that we get a seat next to each other!! :D :D :D

So Here I come Sunny Mexico! Hopefully 30 lbs lighter. You better believe I am going to use it as a goal to see how much I lose! :D I will do no cheating so I can maximize my loss and enjoy another week of interuption! This won't happen till the start of March. :D

I could be 180 by march! :D I'm feeling very happy about this. Pulled me out of my funk. :) I will stay with my parents, and I am bringing my kid. My husband can't go because of his job situation. Otherwise we would have bought 3 tickets. But he wants this, I told him I wouldn't go, but he wants our son to have a week with out daddy to see if he will start looking to me more and not relying on daddy all the time. My week away from our child did a lot of good for him to understand people being gone yet coming back.

I'm going to the Beach! :D My son LOVES the beach. He cries sometimes when he sees the video of the beach and asks to go. We have to tell him next year. anyways. Enough chatter. Just had to share the good news!

R2P2: Day 23

Weight: 206.4 lbs
Loss of: .8 lb today
Total Loss: 17.4 lb
Total over all 77.4

So I was a bit long winded yesterday. I blame it on the PMS.

I do want to clarify something. I used to go into black out rages. I don't anymore. I have come a long way after getting married. Husband working through some of my issues with me. I am just a frustrated person trying to be perfect and it bothers me and makes me very upset. I have been really good in the last several months, I haven't raised my voice much at all. I'm actually tired of my son saying "Mommy calm down" lol.

I'm doing okay over all. I am just having a bad bought of pms this week for some reason. Everything is just ticking me off and I went and took a long bath last night and watched 2 movies by myself. It was very refreshing. I feel a lot better this morning, but the pms bug is still nagging at me to be in a lousy mood. Didn't help that my kid is waking up at 4am going "Where is daddy!" I'm like "Kid, he is at work please go back to bed!" Luckly the then let me sleep till 11:30, though I'm so Freaking tired still.

Went to my doctors, and she told me not to take cheat days unless I am losing less then .5 for 3 days. Then take one day off the meds and still do the 500, then the next day enjoy a cheat. Normally this has upped my losses afterwards, so it's not so much cheating as it's helping the diet. :) I'm losing so well this round (though I lost a week due to big cheats for holidays) that I want to keep it going.

We decided to give me a special cheat day after I hit 199, but I said 190 or else I will be doing that every day! 200, then 199. then 200, then 199. LOL Endless cycle of cheating. I told my husband I would rather not eat to celebrate a loss, but maybe give my parents some money when they go to Mexico and have them pick up a nice necklace for me. To celebrate my 200 mark. Or rather its the 199 mark. No more 2 at the start of my weight!
Oh, we are not finding any seats on the 4 hour flight to Mexico in the month of February so I won't be going with my son down there. :( I will call to find out if the web is just being weird or if that is really the true number. My husband just started working, he is the only man on his team and they really need him so the idea of him leaving after he started working is nto going to work well for him. But he thinks that our son taking a week off from daddy might get him to refocus on me a bit more. It's depressing when your son wakes you up at 4am going "Where is daddy" and you tell him "He is at work" and he throws a tantrum and you try to comfort him but he just gets louder. I did manage to cuddle with him after 1/2 hour of being rejected. He is NOT a cuddler. I'm very sad because of it. I grew up with not that much display of affection. Our house is very.. German. And so hugs were not the order of the day. So I grew up not showing affection to others as much, but I craved it. A good hug is sometimes the only thing someone wants. Not a candy bar, not a cookie, or a stuffed animal. Just a freaking hug. So My husband got me into hugs and physical affection. So I try to smother my son with it, but he always pushes away. NOt a cuddler. A player, a dooer, an action kid who does love us, but just isn't into all that stupid phsyical affection. :P heh.

Okay, what is in the water. I'm just blathering around. I'm not really a crazy person. I promise! I'm really okay, just having a hard pms week!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

R2P2: Day 22

Weight: 207.2 lbs
Loss of: .4 lb today
Total Loss: 16.6 lb

warning: Long post- didn't mean it to be, but there it is!

Morning Ladies!
I had an evening. We tried to totally change our son's bed time and it didn't work (surprise) and then I decided to take a bath, and when I come downstairs after a long bath that took me to 10pm I see the guys on the couch. :S I fell off the bandwagon and went on a tyraid. Folks... I have tried so hard in the last couple months to keep my temper and blow up's in check. When I was hit puberty I would go into these weird blankouts of blowups. I even threw a huge tyraid in the middle of my school about how a friend closed her locker. I didn't remember it. I would literally go into blind rage. I was later told by my high school councilor I was a 1%'er of the PMS extreme. Like PMS = Bikers, and I was part of the hells Angels.
It's something I am not proud of, but it's there. I have, for some reason, a HUGE freaking ball of pure rage right in the middle of my chest. If left unchecked I can sometimes feel the swirling ball.

I have worked to deal with, especially when I had my son 3.4 years ago. I know I passed it onto him because in the first year I had a hard time being in control. My husband has helped me a lot though... to a point.
I felt bad after a good month of keeping it totally in check, I blew up. I told myself I wouldn't scream, but I just snapped and 'dragged' my kid upstairs (more like grabbed him and carried him while he was upset 'no bedtime mommy') and plopped him into bed and told him 'go to sleep!' I did temper myself with my kid because I don't want to directly scare him. But I let loose on the husband. Not good, but he did shovel it back at me.

Once he left the room and I put our little guy to sleep and thought about my actions, I realized I was wrong in what I Did, but wasn't about to tell ol hubby that. I come downstairs and my husband was holding an olive branch. WOW. He did the right thing for me to calm down with him enough that I could admit to him that I didn't handle that situation well, and we proceeded to talk it out.

We co-sleep with our son. He has learned the bad habit of falling asleep next to daddy, then daddy sneak out of the room. I don't like it, the falling asleep part. He needs to learn that he doesnt need us to fall asleep. It's funny, my son, if I put him to sleep, goes down in like 10 minutes. He knows that I don't cater to him as much as daddy. I love that my husband is SO involved. I didn't get that growing up. My dad always had to work or he would find something to work on. It was only later he told me (after I cornered him about my son and his weirdness) he wasn't that comfortable around children. He didn't know what to do. He freaking has 3 kids! But he was a 'traditional' man, and Vietnam kept him away for a bit with my two brothers. I'm the youngest by 8 years.

Anyways. This is why my resolution has 'meditate and relax' as well as doing yoga 2 x a week. My sister in law has seen a HUGE difference in my brother's attitude as well. I would love to get my mom involved. She has HUGE anxiety. She and helderheid should talk to each other. Sounds like you both have a similar issue and if I don't start doing something I am going to exasperate the situation I'm already in. I need to learn from my mom. I have a lot of fears. I sometimes feel like a big bottle of fear and anger. They both seem to feed into each other. We hate what we fear.

I go to the doctors today to get my check up. I take my son up since the husband is at work and everyone has their own doctors appointments. Sigh. It gets me into the carpool lane at least (WHich I don't agree with but I will use it because it's lawful and I don't want to leave 2 hours before my appointment)

Our life used to be up in the Bellevue area, we live now in the South Sound area. My doctor is in Kirkland. A 1.5 hour drive if your doing the average. My husband's job is up there in Redmond. He takes a vanpool. If I get a job, it would be in the same company as him. My old company I loved to work for previously, the job I want to get.

My husband and I sat down and had a serious talk. He is feeling a bit trepidation about me going back to work. I have had this gut feeling too for the last couple days after I started thinking it through. We don't feel good leaving our 3 year old in some daycare, then in Sep2010 in a school for 12 hours. Okay, it would be school then grandparents. But 12 hours a day w/o parents, then come home for a couple hours of play then bed. I don't now if I can do that. I don't know if we can do that. Well, actually we could, but we know our son, he won't adjust to that very well until he is maybe 5.
We are thinking of postponing my job till then. It sucks because I was looking forward to working, but at the same time it doesn't suck because I started getting a bit weepy for homeschooling him. I got a great book yesterday that gave me some great outlines. We are a family of planners. Okay.. I'm a planner.

We planned our child. We took a week at the start of November 05 when I was ovulating and had each night be romantic with candles and all. I wanted that for our child, to be conceived in that type of romance. Then I got pregnant my first try. We told ourselves that someone would be home with our child. We didn't personally want someone else to raise our child. I have nothing against daycare, it just wasn't for us and our emotional state. We co-sleep with our child and love every minute of it. Er almost every minute. We have to make woopie elsewhere now, and just having a kid in our lives makes woopie hard to find.

I enjoy waking up to my child in the morning. I had some very serious health issues as a child, and being German you also put a child in a crib at night and didn't go in till morning. So needless to say, I have some serious abandonment issues to deal with. I put these on my son like any good person. I can't stop thinking if my child cries in the bedroom that he feels like we left him. That is me crying up there for affection and some love. So I break down and make it as gentle as possible for him. I don't do this all the time because I get into the 'this is not good for our child' so I'm not totally consistant, but I have my own issues to work through, but don't want to get to stiff upper lip with my child. I don't know.

I'm feeling pretty anxious about writing such a long post. :P If you read it all, thank you. Even if you skimmed it! I just have a lot to say today.

OH! I can fit into my size 18 jeans enough to wear them to the doctors!

Monday, January 4, 2010

R2P2: Day 21

Weight: 20876 lbs
Loss of: 1 lb today
Total Loss: 16.2 lb

Good Morning Folks,
I'm trying to get my head into the game of life and stop playing Solitare on my Ipod. So it's my lack of connecting that is bothering me, but I get so hermitized for a while.
I do care about others, but sometimes I go through these moods where I am good at connecting and socializing and making meaningful relationship with people. But then I just 'stop' for a period of time and go into my own life and just live. Do what I want to but not connect. I let those I have connected with down and I feel horrible.

I also haven't been reading blogs, and then I get behind and then it starts looking like a mound of work. :P I hate that. I do things for fun, then I get a tiny bit behind or I try to do too much and it becomes work. Like reading. I did it last year. I started to try to read 1 book a week. Then I fell a little ahead and a little behind and I felt like it was work, Read read read. It stopped being a pleasure thing for the heck of it, and it became an assignment, though I did enjoy reading. I got a bit burned out so I only got to read about 26 books last year.

My plan is to read 25 books this year. That is 1 book every 2 weeks. I should allow myself though to fall no lower then 12 books and still feel good.

Some things for 2010 that I would like to see done: (inspired by Autumn Rose)

1. Catch up on work no more then 3 days after I let it slide!

2. Read 25 books (of any sort) this year. 50% at least novels.

3. Relax. Take it easy. Don't let the little things bug me as much. Decrease my Drama Queeness. How? By meditating and going to Yoga 2 x a week.

4. Keep up with Yoga every Tue/Thur.

5. Learn 3 new computer programing languages that would help get me hired again at my old company as a contractor.

6. Get a contract job and put my little one in the Montessori school.

7. Pay down debt. Get rid of 1/2 debt this year. Or at least get my credit card down to 20% debt.

8. Potty Train my kid (any help would be appreciated!) by school start. :)

Okay that is enough for now. I think it's a good list of things I really want to do.

I will try to catch up with stuff sooon! I will really work on it. I've just been lazy, but it's something I feel strongly about because I love connecting and learning from my fellow bloggers!

Be Strong and take care!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Taco Salad

This has become a favorite of mine.

Take 3.5 ground beef
1.5 oz of onions (or as you desire or don't add if you don't mix veggies)
Spices: Mustard, smoked paprika, onion and garlic powder
Serving of Lettuce

I microwave the chopped onions for 2 minutes. I put the ground beef in a pan. I add seasonings and brown the meat. You can use a lot or a little seasoning so I don't like actually listing an amount. It feels a bit arbitrary. How ever your mood hits you.

I chop my lettuce into little bits and put it in a big bowl, then add the browned meat over it.

I put the stove to high, put my pan back on the stove and add several tablespoons of mustard on high heat. Then I add a little water and scrap off the seared on meat and mix the mustard. Makes a little sauce that reduces. I turn off the stove and pour the mixture onto the salad. Mix and enjoy!

Ryan's not so famous Tomato Soup

This is a recipe my husband came up with that we want to put in a future HCG Cookbook. We try to make our own stuff so we can put our own book together.

Take a serving of Tomatoes
3.5 oz of chicken
2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
pinch of salt
1 tsp Paprika
(add spice: pinch cayenne pepper.)

So you chop up your tomatoes and brown the chicken. Use the cooking utensil to chop up the chicken as you go. I will sometimes just microwave the chicken for 1 min 30 seconds (or untill your micro makes it done) and remove the chicken.

Pour the tomatoes into the pan (we use a small wok where we cooked the chicken) and fill with water to the top of the tomatoes. Add your spices. You can use more or less then we denoted. We sort of wing it now on our feelings. Sometimes I add oregano to the mix. Bring to a boil. Add chicken. Reduce water to desired thickness of soup. I take my cooking utensil and break up the tomatoes. YOu can put in a blender if you desire not to have any chunks of tomato, or keep cooking at a lower temp till the tomatoes dissolve. I enjoy the chunks.

I sometimes just cook the tomatoes so they are barely dissolved and eat it with the fresh warmed tomatoes. You can do a bunch of things. Add a different meat to it. But this is what we do.

R2P2: Day 20

Weight: 208.6 lbs
Loss of: .4 lbs today
Total Loss: 15.2 lb

Guess I asked for too big of a loss, or I just got the whole loss but didn't sleep enough. Our kid seems to have a cough and bothersome throat so no one was getting much sleep last night until we dosed him with some Tylenol. That seemed to help him sleep, still didn't get a whole lot of sleep though since I wanted some awake quiet time w/ the husband.

Morning everyone! I hope you are all doing well. We went to the Train Festival yesterday with the grandparents, and opa. Oma said behind to get some down time after all the visits she just had. My father has a train collection collecting dust that I hope he will bring out some time soon. He has, I guess, a bigger LBG collection that he said in a couple years he would open up for my son and him to play with. I realized how much I love miniture, and I would love to do scenery.

We are going to take it easy, I'm making the tomato soup for my parents tonight to share with them what I eat and make it easy on my mom since she is doing a bunch of cleaning and then inventory of her business (she makes applique towels). She is the reason I got into sewing at a young age. I just haven't taken the opportunity to expand my skill.

I think I might have my next 'motivation' so I don't have to just 'let it be' LOL. Ya, so much for zen. Though I want to keep the 'oh, look I lost .4 ... groovy.. '
We take a trip to Mexico every year. We get miles from a credit card, a companion pass and then we end up paying 1 full price fare. Not bad at all for the 3 of us. Though my husband just got a job, I can try to make more dice bags and help contribute to the cost. We will see. Wish him luck that he can take a week off while my parents are down there. We get free room and food as long as we eat at the apartment. Last year we split the duty. My mom made lunch (I hate making lunch) and I made dinner (my mom hates cooking at night) so it worked out PERFECTLY! I felt like I was contributing and not leaving my mom to cook. It's her vacation too! I think that is why she has latched onto cruising... she doesn't have to do anything. She gets a true vacation on a cruise! No bed making nor cooking! A true wifes/mothers vacation.

So, I don't care what weight I am at, once I buy the tickets to go to Mexico I am on a serious course of 'no cheating allowed' and then I will take a week off from the protocol in February, or March some time. Let's hope the price is right because we still need to have a surplus of money in our account. I hope to make it work. :) I get a lot of walking down there because I love walking everywhere and taking the public bus.

anywho! My mind is bustling! :)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

R2P2: Day 19

Weight: 209 lbs
Loss of: 1.2 lbs today
Total Loss: 14.8 lbs

I made it so far! I have been eating clean today. I did take hcg late, but oh well. And 4:40pm I am finishing off my 1st liter.

We had a lot of fun today. We went to a train festival. My son and father totally LOVED it. I forgot how much I LOVE miniature.

I did cheat yesterday, but it was interesting. It was so filling that I didn't need dinner. I had a piece of well cooked prime rib select and a heaping mound of red cabbage. So I think I did good over all. Even enjoyed an apple at the end of the day.
Oh, and I enjoyed two little pieces of chocolates that were something I always had a child in Germany. They are little chocolate circles with the mini sprinkle balls. My sister in law bought them for me for Xmas. YUM! I had two little ones, then I also tried some of the peanut brittle someone gave my mom. Too sugary for my taste, but good. I love peanut butter. I could eat a peanut butter sandwich every day. My mom made them for my lunches all the time, though it always got squished by the apple, though I guess I wouldn't have it any other way now a days. :) Made the bread all soggy which was good so it wasn't dry. LOL. anywho

Lavendar- you were right! I hit under 210- in fact 209. Lets see if it holds up. So far this round I haven't lost a TON of weight, but I did a LOT of cheat days, and when I ate clean I did lose a bit of weight! I'm really happy, though my resolve is a bit shakier. I will have to find milestones where I can enjoy something naughty!

I go to the doctors on Monday, I am curious what she has to say. I think I did well, I have this support group of bloggers to help me, and I totally don't feel alone in the journey. I have gotten great support from my doctor and also other forums where there is a flow of information. I think we have become experts in our own right about hcg! :)

Take care hcg blogger friends! See you tomorrow and I hope all has gone well for everyone!

Friday, January 1, 2010

R2P2: Day 18

Weight: 210.2 lbs
Loss of: 1.4 lbs today
Total Loss: 13.6 lbs


I'm happy to see that I am losing well. I love that I am almost out of the 10's. To be 210.2 for 2010 LOL Works for me!

I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful night last night and did what you wanted! I hope that all your cheats or food plans came out succesful!

I'm off to my parents for a nice New Years Dinner. CHEATING! :) My possible last cheat till I hit 180. I want to take a 1 week break then. But I will decide that in 30 freaking lbs!!!! :D I love it. SO CLOSE to the 199 mark! There will be NO cheating when I get THAT close! ;) LOL

anywho. Have a wonderful day! May it not be as dreary as the weather is outside!