Saturday, October 31, 2009

R1P2: Day 81

Weight: 236 lbs
Loss of: GAINED .2
Total Loss: 47.8 lb

I weighed in this morning at 236 lbs, then I tried to sleep again for 1/2 hour, but I had to get the rest of the costumes done because I added one toddler costume (quick but need hemming, plus I messed up my pants and had to find fabric after 2 hours of trying to fix a miss cut) so I had to get up.
I weighed: 236

I want to sleep for another two hours please! We stayed up till 2am working on costumes since I wanted to get farther and the stupid pants gave me problems. Luckily I found more fabric in my spare fabric box that would work. It was off by 1-2 inches :P My son looks SO Cute as a little jedi. We will put a sweater on underneath the fleece and he should be TOTALLY warm. :)

I am not going to get sleep tonight much because when we have our son stay with the grandparents we will go to a Halloween Party (luckily the host is on p2 so will have p2 food) and we will want to come home to ... snuggle! heh. :)

I've been hitting my calories, drinking more water, started working out a little. I feel more water weight right now, my fingers feel bloated. So I think the sleep is the problem right now. But that is silly to hear almost, that this diet counts on good sleep. We will see. I'm frustrated because it has been hard lately to go to bed before 11:30pm. But I do sleep in, so that should count for something. Sigh.

Friday, October 30, 2009

R1P2: Day 80

Weight: 235.8 lbs
Loss of: 1lb
Total Loss: 48 lbs

I'm happy to report 1 lb down today. The day off of hcg is working so far. I did it once before to a 1 lb loss, and a couple more after that. I'm .2 shy of reaching my 15 lb goal. I could count that pretty sucessful unless I gain like 2.3 lbs tomorrow. hehe.

I'm done w/ 2 whole costumes, and I have 2 more to hem and finish up. Lots of hemming but I find that I can fold the hem and pin it while watching tv. That made a lot of hemming possible last night that otherwise would have been at a stand still.

Today is a stressful day, our kid woke us up earlier then we wanted, he went to bed late, twitched all night so we were surprised at the earlier wake up. We need a break. Luckly tomorrow night we will get it. He is staying w/ the grandparents over night and they will have a awesome night, plus we will recharge. he has been SO clingy lately and we have been tired and snappy. We need a better sleep schedule. I think that would put things back into order.

What is your plan for tomorrow? Are you going to get rid of any left over candy you were giving out to the kids? What about your kids? Will they be able to trade their candy in for a big reward, and then throw that candy away?
We have, because I hate the candy part of halloween, our kid only go to a couple homes of people we know to wish them a wonderful happy Halloween, then we take the candy, take out the bits we don't want him to have, then we take what he can have and give him a couple pieces and the rest go away. Mostly either in a pile for the hubby to take to work, and if that doesn't happen I throw it away. That is one thing I love are those little candy bars, and since I have been fat for the last 10 years I feel like there is nothing good in those candies, they don't satisfy a hunger so it's pure crap. And I don't want to be the fat person putting pure crap in her mouth. I will be happy to put hamburgers in my mouth because that is a 'real meal' heh. But not candy. So I usually have a 'that's wasteful to throw it away' issue, but I get over it because I go 'well, more wasteful to put it in my body or my kids body' We have worked hard to put nourishing things in our son's body. He eats a lot of veggies, peanutbutter w/o jelly sandwhiches and milk and water. He likes it all. He likes his occational jojo (organic oreo w/o the hydrooils and hyper wheat crap) as a treat. Eating healthy has become and has been a family affair. Traditionally I admit our son has eaten healthier then me, but now I put myself to his level and eat veggies more. heh. Especially on this diet.

So, what is your plan for Halloween! I challenge you, each of my following blog readers to not let 1 candy bar, one sweet, one toffee pass your lips. I would love to create a graphic that says "no sweets for these lip" to put in one of our blog entries to show that we were good for Halloween! I also challenge you as a mother or husband to take all your kids candy and have them trade it in for an item that is X dollars or less at their favorite store. Go to one less house, teach them it's about going to people they know and wishing them a happy holiday. Lets make Halloween about celebrating Fall and less about getting candy!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

R1P2: Day 79

Weight: 236.8 lbs
Loss of: -0.2(gain)
Total Loss: 47 lbs

Because gaining nothing wasn't going anywhere fast my body had to gain .2 lbs. :( I am taking a day off from hcg meds. I talked to my doctor and they said I could techniqually take 1 day off a week from taking HCG.

I'm ovulating and I think that is my 'TOM' for gains. I actually lose rather well during my TOM so my body had to say 'lets mess w/ it elsewhere'. I have always had a harder ovulation. I would actually cramp up on my ovu as well.

So, to give me a pick me up I decided to try on a size 16 dress I have had in my closet and could NEVER lift over my thunder thighs.. well today I did it! I put it on and zipped it up within an inch of the finishing line. I'm totally good. That totalllllllly made up for gaining a little.

(wow, our power flickered, my computer went out and this post was somehow saved.)

So ya, I'm going to work on heming and finishing up the costumes today and feel good that I fit better then ever into my clothes and that I DO need new pants! That is so much better then any other diet where you go 'crap I gained, I'm going to have me a cookie and call it quits, or I am going to work out 3 more hours then yesterday. :P

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

quick update: The Meridian Organ Clock

The Meridian Organ Clock

Has anyone heard of this and can give me a good site to work off of? I want to understand it more so I can use it to my advantage!

Something to do when you should eat, or stuff, when your organs have the spot light and such.

A link like all others:
It gives you the chart, but not the real understanding of WHAT it is and how to use it!

R1P2: Day 78

Weight: 236.6 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 47.2 lbs

SIGH! I am jinx'ed
I will lose a ton of weight right after the Calendar turns to November to elude me of my 15 for October, I just know it. :P I told myself, there is really no way I can miss my 15 lb mark before October. I would have to lose less then .2 every day... Well 2nd day of NO LOSS!

I'm not depressed but I'm pissed. heh. It's personal. I drank a TON of water yesterday. I wonder if that is making it happen. I am eat a mustard that has calories and the ingredients are totally okay. It does have vinegar, but I don't think they use vinegar that uses sugar? sigh. I will lay off that mustard for a moment. I don't think that's it though because I was using it before the 2 days of no loss.

I ate:
Breakfast: Usual Grapefruit
Lunch: Meatloaf on top of a 'bed' of tomatoes
Dinner: Fish and onion roasted w/ mustard
(that mustard is adictive so it MUST be bad)

Thought for the day:
Even if you don’t love your body, love yourself. We are not our fat. That Is the abuse we have put into our bodies, those fat cells are the over indulgence we have allowed ourselves, but they are like a shirt we have in our closet.

If you don’t love yourself, find out why. What is it about yourself that you detest? Then make peace with it. If your upset that you let yourself get your body where it is today say sorry and move on! We can’t afford to sit and hate ourselves any longer. We are our best advocate. We are our own spokesperson! Love the person within because we all make big mistakes but it's really who recovers from those mistakes that count! I always tell a customer service person when I have a problem and they apologize that the problem happen is "Mistakes will happen, it's the way you guys fix the mistake that counts whether I will come back or not"

We are now fixing this mistake that we made. We can see it as a 'quick fix' but you know, we are sticking to it, we see hope and we are taking care of ourselves. Don't punish ourselves any longer, and if you do, then find out why you hate yourself so muh to make it fat, it might be an external thing. I got fat because I didn't know how to eat, I then let it become a situation of not being lonely, then a situation of 'if I get fat no one will find me attractive and my husband won't be jealous and untrusting of me' .. I have had some long hard work on those issues and I even got a councilor involved. We can't always fix our problems alone. Please reach out to someone that you see suffering because we SHOULDN'T have to fight these personal demons alone!
One of the amazing things I find with reaching out sometimes is that I learn a ton in the process.

Life is not just smiling, but a combo of smiling and having smiling faces back at ya! :) It's amazing to smile at a total stranger and seeing if they smile back at you.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

R1P2: Day 77 - update

Weight: 236.6 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 47.2 lbs
(I copy paste and forgot to change it to no loss today)

I swear, the close we get to the 'deadline' of my goal the slower my weight. It's all a jinx thing! I swear it is! heh.

I kicked butt on sewing costumes, I modified some parts to make it an easier sew. Love it!

My friend came over and ate his VLCD dinner and this is what he had: A bag of shredded lettuce, 3.5 oz of crumbled chicken, a salsa he made with a tomato, some onions and seasoning and then he added a 'ranch dip' to it. I put my finger in to taste. OMG! So he mixed some low fat cottage cheese and low fat milk together in a blender then added dill and some other spices to give it a good flavor. He poured that and the salsa over his chicken salad. That looked amazing.
And he still loses weight. I know me, I would try that and I most likely would gain. This man is on fire w/ weight loss.

I wonder if it is easy access fat that is coming off for him and my body has to get an eviction notice before fat comes off! :P Yes it is coming off, little by little but sometimes I get a little bummed when I see people blowing me out of the water. I am so happy for them, and I'm happy for my actual loss but still. heh.

OH! I got a spiral perm yesterday. I think I cried after I left. I didn't feel good about it and immediately put it in a bun. I was so embarrassed. But it was kind of cool when I came home and my husband wanted to see it, it had softened up a bit to what I wanted it. I will get it all wet today and see if it curles up a bit. I will play with it a bit. I wanted something different. I see those loose curles the sexy celebs are wearing and I wanted something simular. Sigh. Oh well. Woof I'm a poodle with really long hair! ;)

My husband is .2 away from his goal. He looks awesome. He got a tiny little tummy, but his face.. omg its so sexy. He just looks SO Awesome. I didn't realize that he could have looked more awesome. I love him and I have always found him pretty sexy but he has just gotten a little sexier. I'm not trying to be shallow or anything but he just looks so much younger and healthier. I love it! And I am following right behind him.
He goes to p3 on Saturday. Lucky man! It will be hard for me to see him transition with relish over to eating bacon, eggs, and cheese. Sigh. The cruise can't come fast enough! heh. I'm a little scared though to eat 'away from home' though. What if they coat and soak everything in sugar and I won't know it? I will let them know that I am diabetic diet. But I'm also a little excited about the hubby going on p3 so I can try out recipes on him.

If all goes to plan I should be at my 135 in 163 days. Roughly 6 months. I think I might take a small break when I am around 180 unless I have new motivation. My first step is the cruise. That is keeping me on track to want to fit into my amazing dresses. First goal.

What sort of sucks- when you have a limited menu of foods you can eat on the diet, and then some of these foods become no-no's. I really can't eat beef. I can eat roast and ground beef it seems, but no juicy yummy lean steak. Sigh. At least I got my apples!

Thought of the day: Are you living the journey and not just mentally sitting at the finish line? Because sometimes our bodies won't reach our minds and we feel separated and call it failure, though we have come a long way! Enjoy the fact that you are where you are today and changing your life for the better. Live each step because we don't get these days back and they are still part of our lives, even if it's a transitional part of our lives. Stop and smell the roses, look at the leaves when we get our mail. Notice things around us! Stop and take a moment.

Monday, October 26, 2009

R1P2: Day 76

Weight: 236.6 lbs
Loss of: .6
Total Loss: 47.2 lbs

I'm almost to the 50 lb mark. What do I want to reward myself with? I think 2 new pair of pants. Mine are so freaking loose but not quite falling off my hips, but still are baggy. I'm a little depressed though that the next size down are a bit firm on me, especially my thighs. :P I don't want to do any major sewing on my pants to make them look aweful. :P

Not much going on here, our living room is pretty much done, costumes are being made and finished up this week and I need to go grocery shopping for a few extra things. My life is exciting. No skydiving, no deep sea fishing. heh. Just shopping and sewing.

I'm going to get my husband some new pants because he lost a enough weight that all his pants are baggy giving him 'poo butt' pants. :P Not as sexy has he has become. He was sexy before he lost his weight but somehow the meter has been turned up. I expect the same is going for him seeing me. I've become even sexier, though he has always found me sexy. He lets me know that all the time. Sometimes too much. heh. Dude, I'm cooking dinner, stop goggling me! ;) We have our issues, but him finding me sexy is not one of them.

I think that has been a issue in our relationship actually. It's funny, to think I would get fat to be less sexier. He was, at the start of our relationship, a bit too jealous and I just naturally had guy friends because I related with them better. Yes, I was the girl playing Star Wars on the playground in 1st grade w/ all the guys. Of course I was the Princess stuck in the prison waiting for the guys to rescue me. :P I wanted to be out there 'fighting' with lasers but I digress. HEY, I just realized- I will be a Jedi for Halloween. heeeee. hehe. :) anywho. But my husband, then boyfriend, didn't trust me to be around anyone. Don't ask how we made it work. But I realized I hid and ate and some of it was to become so unattractive to other men so my husband didn't think I was sleeping around or blame me for being 'too attractive' or something. So we never really 'worked it out' and the other night I told him.. "I'm sorry but men might find me attractive" and he laughed. He knew where that was coming from. He is SOOO not jealous anymore. He knows I am trustworthy. I had a guy at my work once advance on me. I pushed him away and walked out of his office and never saw him again. AND I told my husband right away. So I was able to 'prove' my trust. So we just keep open dialog and being thin won't be scary in the 'do other's find me attractive' category.

I tried on some of my lingerie the other night and it was actually TOO BIG for me! :) My husband, in an attempt to make me feel sexy, bought me various sizes in lingerie but it never totally worked, I still saw the fat. Well, most of the items fit me well, or are too big now, and my curves have reappeared nicely to make me look better in these items. yes I am still fat, but I feel 100x more sexier then I did 45 lbs ago. I still have 100 lbs to go, but come on... sexy is a frame of mind.

Can you find your sexy? Who cares that you still have 10, 20 or 50 more pounds to lose, can you find your sexiest pair of underware and truly find the sexy person within? Don't look in a mirror if it doesn't work. It's not about physical sexy, I'm going for mental sexy here! Honestly- if you have granny panties- go out to the store and get yourself nicer ones!! I go to Lane Bryant and I have ALWAYS worn sexy panties!! If I, at 150 lbs over weight can do it, you can toO! :) (They are the bikini form, no g-string for me please)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

R1P2: Day 75

Weight: 237.2 lbs
Loss of: 1
Total Loss: 46.6 lbs

I lost a pound! I have 1.6 more lbs to lose to reach my monthly goal. I would like to lose a little more this month, but that also means I can lose .2 every day and still reach that goal. Please weight gods, don't be that cruel!

I drank more water though I do feel a little bloated today in my hands. I want to start walking a little more around our local park. Just move my body. Anyone know if you exercise on this diet you actually WILL lose more weight? I am going to tone my arms w/ a small weight. I want that flab to be more gone by the cruise.

I dropped my parents off for their cruise they are doing this up coming week. It's both their b-days and they decided to take a nice cruise for their b-day. :) I dropped them off to their hotel and we always go to Dave's Diner. Nice yummy place. I decided not to eat at first, but then I ordered lettuce and broiled no-oil chicken. We will see in the next 2 days if I gain a lot. So far so good. I kept the meal small and it was enjoyable. I was very full afterwards. I hope I don't gain, nothing should have been off protocol as long as they didn't have chicken pumped w/ crap. I got to talk to my parents about sugar and if they just kept an eye out for hidden sugar like in vinegar they can easily replace it w/o giving up flavor. My mom finds this easy because she really doesn't like sweet stuff. I like 'sweets' but I don't like sweet stuff either. I perfer a more bitter chocolate and a more savory cake. I like sweet, but barely sweet otherwise my tongue gets a sugar high. heh.

We watched a movie last night on our tv. It was nice. Just the husband and I cuddled on our new comfy big couch/sectional and watched "7 pounds". What an awesome movie. I love Will Smith. He is so talented. It's an emotional movie so bring some tissue. So worth it though!

I found a p3 gravy recipe. I will post it later! :) I want to do a 'thanksgiving' p3 post. Get prepared for things we can eat w/o sugar and still enjoy ourselves! :)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

R1P2: Day 74

Weight: 238.2 lbs
Loss of: -.2 (gain)
Total Loss: 45.6 lbs

Where's the beef? Giving me a gain. I thought I could try another piece of beef today. NOPE! I have to truly stay away from a broiled steak. We can have some ground beef or roast.

I'm not totally depressed because I know pretty much where that gain was, and I should have really known better but I wanted beef! I really really wanted beef. Sad when an on protocol food is giving you a gain.

Today I plan to drink a LOT since lately I have just been getting my water in. I want to get a LOT of water in.

I'm making costumes for 2 of my friends, my husband and me. We are all going as the same thing. Jedi Knights. The brown robes and off white tunics. It originally was for my friend who LOVES Star Wars, and the rest of us going as Gothic, but we decided to go all the same, so I am going to be a sewing fanatic this up coming week. The guys are coming over today to help me cut and stuff. Nice. They are very helpful. I will have to take pictures. Normally an X-Large costume just fits me, but it was very billowy when I tried on my friends robe (almost already have his done)

We got our living room set, and what is funny, since our couch is a 38"x38" 5 piece sectional my son has moved two of them slightly apart and made a 'house' w/ it. He spend a good portion of the evening in there while the husband and I played on the computer. It was a lot of fun having him so dedicated to the little house and playing on my Ipod. We have kid games on there for him to enjoy. This morning he wakes us up to "House... House downstairs!" heh. Cute.

Fat breeds Fat and Skinny breeds Skinny. We game RPGs every other weekend. It's a lot of fun, we used to have chips, 2 bags of various candies and some soda. Then I went on a faux diet (the ones where you try so hard but lose no weight) and was not going to touch the stuff. THen no one touched the stuff till my thin hubby would open up a bag, and it was feeding time at the zoo. Then I asked him not to do that. He didn't and the person who was bringing all this junk decided we didn't need it, he also saw how hard it was for me to not eat it. It was nice that we all stopped. Then I started drinking TONS of water at these sit downs. My friends, meaning well, brought better drinks. Some had still a lot of sugar in the 'healthy packaging' but I saw they gave it a try. Two of the guys now on HCG went on Weight Watchers. We tried to eat cleaner. Then I get onto HCG and my good friend says "Where can I get it" and the other guy is like.. okay why not. Now we eat Roast w/ veggies and such.
I noticed my Brother-in laws husband doesn't want to be the 'fatest person in the family' and wants to do this. My MIL even joined a gym and she is wanting to lose 20 lbs. herself. I think we all help each other to become healthier and thinner. But it goes the reverse too. I think we all want to work as a team subconsciously.

Fat breeds Fat, and Skinny breeds skinny. Think about that the next time you get together with your friends.

Friday, October 23, 2009

R1P2: Day 73 of VLCD

Weight: 238 lbs
Loss of: 0.4
Total Loss: 45.8 lbs

So my scale realizes I'm trying to get to 15 lbs lost for the month and is slowing me down! Grrr. :P heh. It's okay, but tomorrow I plan to be slightly depressed if I have a LOW loss. I've put that on my calendar! ;)

Today I am trying to finish cleaning up so my parents can see it before the trip they are going on. I forbid them to come over till the house looked nice, I guess they will never come over. ;) But seriously, it started well, but I just have so many activities to deal with and fit into this one room. If we had a 1 story home then my son would have all his toys in his room, but since I don't like him upstairs when I am downstairs I decided to put everything downstairs.

I have ribs! :) Not on my plate slathered in BBQ sauce, but on my body, in my body! Like.. Right under my boobs.. where the fat was that would hide my ribs. Then I felt a bone that I was like 'what is this' and I proceed to bruise it. :P Dumb me. I asked my doctor 'what the heck is this" and she told me to stop touching myself. :) I'm so silly. But I won't be exploring my bones any time soon.

Hugging me now hurts a little because bear hugs don't get absorbed by fat. I love it.

Right now I am loving my progress, I weigh less then I have in a LONG time. I think I was 200 around 2000. That is 9 long years ago. I went to a VERY expensive nutritionist that I think just pumped me w/ product but I did lose weight. But you do get full after eating 20 vitamins in the morning. You know what destroyed the progress.. Let me share: It was a heated car fight I had w/ the husband. He told me it was too expensive (he was right but I didn't want to hear it because I was becoming thinner) and when I went to my traditional store to buy the 'next size down' I was told I no longer belong in the Plus size, so I went to the 'skinny' side and the size 16 jeans they had did NOT fit. My size 18 were too big. It was a lot of work drinking shakes and eating a sensible dinner and now I wasn't going to have her.
I have nothing against religion, really I don't. I'm not traditional in my beliefs. I normally don't talk about them because they are personal and they are my own.

Anyways, The lady got very weird for me. I was frustrated because she was trying to impose a strict philosophy on me all of a sudden. Something to do w/ Jesus being the purpose behind my weight loss, and here I thought it was me doing hard work all the time. She had an 'awakening' moment after months of working with her. It was hard to deal with, she made me feel Incredibly uncomfortable after her 'awakening'. So the whole combo of things was too much so I bought a bag of Oreos and ate them all in feeling overwhelmed.
Luckily not too long afterward I did go to a shrink. She was a huge flake, but managed to find my eating problems and work on resolving them. I ate to comfort my loneliness. My husband would play on his computer game to fight his depression and I would not have a conversation for a while from him. So I would go into the fridge and eat my loneliness away. She also found out that I had a hard time being intimate with people, that I would shut them out before they got too close. She really worked on me and I have to say, after a good while of working through the issues I realized I wasn't fat. I was a thin person who abused her body and got fat. I'm Steffi, I'm a mother, I am not fat, I have a lot of weight to lose. I do not identify as a 'proud fat woman' I'm a proud woman who has extra weight to get rid of.

I read some posts these last few days and I was inspired by the thought of 'Proud Fat Woman' I get it. I tried to buy into that because I thought that I was stuck as a fat woman. I just couldn't escape from the fat so I tried to make it part of me, but after counseling I couldn't do that. It's abuse I put on my body. It's all the times I was angry at other people and shoved my face. It was all the years of not learning to eat right after leaving my parents house. My mom cooked right and healthy. Never fat in her house, and every time I live with them or go vacationing w/ them I lose weight. That is another way of me losing weight. Moving back to my mom's for a retreat. ;) jk. I would kill her, or she would kill me first. We just can't LIVE together, we can vacation but not live together.

I think I have littered your minds for one day. More tomorrow. I just want to get some deep thoughts out there that have plagued me for a long time. Things that I go through. I feel good where I am today. I have a diet plan that actually works when I put the effort into it. I hate stationary bikes, you go very fast nowhere. That is how I feel on other diets. I hate having my time wasted.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

R1P2: Day 72 of VLCD

Weight: 238.4 lbs
Loss of: 0.6
Total Loss: 45.4 lbs

I've realized something, as much as this diet has consumed my life, it's going in the background a little. Business as usual. Its part of my lifestyle now I don't have to think as much, just go 'oh crap' when I don't remember to take my water bottle w/ me out of the house, and sometimes I don't take my hcg in a timely fashion, normally at night. I'm not in a rut, I'm just living life as normal.

I'm looking forward to losing a total of 30 lbs for my cruise, I'm just trying on my size 18 dress every now and then to see how far I have come. It's a quick pick me up, but I"m still not in my boots.

Went to the doctors for a quick update, she had an intern that was totally new to hcg, so it was fun having the doctor explain it to her. I was living proof at the "yes you can live off 500 calories w/ HCG and not faint of weakness"

We got the couches and boy are they big, they really dwarf the room, and I Hope it works out. We made it work out right now, had to my computer desk, which is okay, but now in front of the window like I Had hoped it wouldn't be, but I make do to have a nice living room. :)

I was thinking, when I started HCG I was afraid, really afraid. I have blogged about it in the past, but reading some other people's blogs I was reminded of my little journey. I was afraid it wasn't going to work or I would be the one person allergic to it (apparently there are people that can be allergic to it, or just don't do well w/ it) and I got very emotional about a scene I have produced in my mind 100's of times. I used to live in Bellevue, a very 'trendy' yet multicultural city. You have very wealthy and the very culturally diverse (depending on where you live actually) and we had access to amazing stores yet snobby shoppers. It felt you had to wear your best in that store, and I felt like Santa sans red suit in that place. Santa as in size, I don't sport a beard. Well, there were always these thin woman w/ their daughters and long blonde hair running around in their tiny little velour (?) work outfits that were bedazzled w/ "Slut" on their tushies. Or at least that is what I read when I blinded by sparkled butts. Anyways, they still were magazine beautiful. My mother is a beautiful woman, not one to put slut on her tushie, but more of a 'Chico' style woman. They have her on speed dial when a sale comes up. She is a very thin elegant woman and I admire her both in personality and looks. I hope to be like her when I grow up, I have all her bad habits. ;) (Something only a daughter can say) So I felt so awful when I walked into that mall w/ her because here is a beautiful woman and she is toting her fat daughter around, yes I'm 30 something, and the other woman are walking with 16 year old daughters, but I regress when I see this image. I'm just thinking the 'first thing I want to do when I become thin is dress up with her and go up there and walk into Victoria Secrets and wait for someone to ask "Can I Help YOU find something" :) I do also want to venture into Ambacrombi and Slut.. er Um.. Finch and just stand there and see if someone helps me. I always got weird looks, so I don't like the place much. Yes, Fat people do go shopping w/ their thin friends and are allowed to come into the same stores. No, I'm not going to buy something, I wasn't even presuming so much. :P

I'm going to go help the hubby make dinner. We are doing our Thur night tv night w/ a friend... on our NEW BIG couches, we all can have our own bed! :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

R1P2: Day 71 of VLCD

Weight: 239 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 44.8 lbs

Didn't lose, I chalk it up to being VERY tired right now. Not enough sleep perhaps? I hate alarms. The moment the alarm is set I start waking up 3 hours before the alarm goes off and I'm checking the time every hour to 1/2 hour. It makes me so nervous I don't get good sleep. Hence, tired as all get out. Which is funny because I put on the alarm to give me enough sleep because I need to be rested for the event the alarm was set for. :P Luckly it is only a morning doctors appointment in town.

Last night we had one of my favorite dinners, Chicken and tomatoes cooked over a bed of lettuce. mmmmmm. I just realized that a non-hcg meal would have been a bed of rice, from now on I can change it to lettuce and eat healthier.

Ah, there goes my alarm. I finally gave up after waking up 15 min before the alarm. :P

I'm eager to get the couches here asap to set up, continue cleaning up the extra stuff. We have stuff scattered around in the 'area they should go' but I'm finding that it makes its own kind of mess now. heh.

I'm feeling so much thinner and I love it. I still am obese, I have 2 smaller rolls, and I still 'look' fat but I feel so much better. I have a skinny face now, I'm letting my hair grow out so it looks nice. I'm happy about it.I think I will color it a darker color since the grey that is coming in makes it look a little bland. My family gets grey hair early. I started around 23 to get flecks, but not the cool stuff right like my brother, but a dulling grey. :( It would be awesome if it looked awesome, i love my grey! I just don't like that it makes my hair look so dull. When you grey early no one really says anything and by the time your really grey, it's old news. No one says 'your old' when you grey at 23. heh.

My arms have gotten very thin, but that 'woman droop' is staying around for a bit. Anyone noticed the 'woman droop' go away?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

R1P2: Day 70 of VLCD

Weight: 239 lbs
Loss of: 1.2
Total Loss: 44.8 lbs

Notice I am below 240. I've hit the 30's! :) YEAY! We will see if the lucky loss will continue! :)

I've contributed it to Oolong Tea, cayenne dip and cinnamon on a daily basis. I also keep my water 3 liters or more.

I had a great lunch today. We made a beef log. Looks sort of gross honestly, but it's really yummy! We added tomato and some onions (salsa) and wrapped it in lettuce. Sort of a Taco Dog? It was awesome.

I am adding some new blogs to my list and when I take a bath read them on my Ipod. It's very nice to relax and read blogs. I can't do 'nothing' in a tub if I sit for a while unless I'm too tired.
For those of you who are following my blog but I can't seem to get onto your blog, could you post it for me in my comments? I would love to follow any of you folks who are also on the HCG diet. It's been awesome to read how other people are doing.

I have dumped a bunch of papers so far that were cluttering and I feel like I can get this all done by Friday. That is w/ having the new couch. YEAY! I have a deadline! Our house downstairs has such an open feeling.

I was awoken last night around 2am and I couldn't sleep so I came down stairs and did some mindless cleaning till 3:30 when I attempted to go back to sleep, Then slept in wayyy tooo long. heh. But it was nice to sleep. I hate the midnight wake ups. Especially on this diet because you can't make yourself a sandwhich and stair at the ceiling in fullness bliss.

What is your favorite all time recipe you like to eat for Thanksgiving. I challenge you to make it a P3 or even P2 compliant. Then share it w/ us!

Monday, October 19, 2009

R1P2: Day 69 of VLCD

Weight: 240.2 lbs
Loss of: .8
Total Loss: 43.6 lbs

I ate pretty last yesterday. I split up my 'lunch' into a before and after dinner snack. I just wasn't hungry. I was thinking I wouldn't lose any weight eating so late, but I still lost .8 lbs. Nice.

I had a nice piece of cod w/ pan roasted cauliflower for dinner. For lunch I mixed up albacore w/ tomatoes and onions. It was very yummy. I wanted to put it on a bed of lettuce but it didn't work out.

I did the sliced apples and because we were at my parents home I made the dessert for them. They really enjoyed it. I feel strongly about sharing this way of eating with people, they look at you like your a 2 headed monster for what you eat. I'm eating normal food and it's yummy. I shared my cod and cauliflower w/ my parents and there were amazed it didn't have oil. My parents have always eaten healthier then me. They have pretty much been thin all their life. My mom would always sort of roll her eyes if I ate junk. She never raised me to eat junk. We never ate from a box growing up. I was thin. So now I am eating healthier and I want to show my mom that it's just as tasty as her healthy foods. She is skeptical about using no oil, she doesn't go over board w/ it, she uses mostly a spray, but she likes it. I used to like it. I used to also think you need a little oil to make everything not stick and taste better. Who would have known that water does the same trick.

I'm 4.6 lbs away from reaching my October goal. I'm feeling REALLY good about it so far. This is my 3rd month that I am doing this diet and it will be better then Sept. I hope. I still have 8+ days to screw it up. heh. But I'm working the plan, sticking to protocol. Okay, I mix my veggies a little bit and eat cauliflower which is on my doctors list. But I'm doing just fine. I'm losing the weight and it is showing. Now to fit into a size 22 soon! heh. My shirts are SO baggy my lower half has to really catch up now! :) heh

Have a great wonderful week! Do something today to get rid of an old habit you wanted to get rid of, or throw away that item you have been keeping, but saying 'one day I will get rid of it!" - I'm getting rid of old cards that really don't have emotional attachment to. Decluttering. And I got rid of stuff that wasn't important enough to be put in my son's baby book. Just kept the good stuff.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

R1P2: Day 68 of VLCD

Weight: 241 lbs
Loss of: .2
Total Loss: 42.8 lbs

I knew I lost weight when I scaled myself, but didn't know it was just .2. Sigh. oh well. Little bummed until I got into my only pairs of pants this morning. I'm outgrowing them, they look very baggy but still work. They are not 'falling' off yet. My hips are big enough.

I've continued to drink a lot of water mixed with an Oolong tea bag all day. I really enjoy the warm water and a little stevia mixed w/ the tea bag. Yummy.
I try to eat some celery w/ cayenne every day as well. I try to be careful with too much potassium/magnisum because it goes right through me.

My husband hates shrimp. I had a small accident last night that got me to sit down for a bit w/ a cold pack on my head and my dear husband made me shrimp and onions. He did SUCH a great job on it, poor guy. He was really sweet.

I want to go to a cheep store and buy some new pants. But I dont want to find out that I need a bigger size in new pants. :( I lost 35 lbs and went into a store to think I could go down at least to a 22. But the lady was all "oh, here is a size 26!" I'm like. I'm losing weight not gaining! Sigh. So we will see if we have some time today to go get me some pants to make me feel good.

Enjoy your day everyone! :)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

R1P2: Day 67 of VLCD

Weight: 241.2 lbs
Loss of: .8
Total Loss: 42.6 lbs

I'm feeling good w/ my losses. I feel really on target to get my goal of 15 lbs by the end of October. I really hope I didn't just jinx it. heh. I'm so superstitious. heh.

I have been working at putting all the 'crap' back into their place, but it's been hard because I have more crap then place. I'm weeding stuff, organizing more stuff and throwing some of it away, very little, but some of it is going bye bye. I went through my cards and will donate a bunch of cards that I just had but won't ever send because they are not 'me'. I have already over 100 cards anyways. I want to send out more cards, but the mess was too much to deal with. I will make sure that my desk is also clean enough that I can shove the computer to the side and be able to write. I enjoy the more open space we have. Our space seems bigger, lighter and more enjoyable. I'm really happy with the space, though I'm unhappy w/ the mess that still needs to be cleaned up.

I've been plugging along with the diet. I have eaten apples every day and I don't see a huge 'decrees' in weight loss I hear apples can give you. I stay away from oranges though because it's just too much sugar for me to normally handle. I take my apple, use the apple cutter, then I proceed to cut them in half again. Then I lay them out on a small toaster oven broil pan w/ some aluminum. I liberally sprinkle cinnamon over them and then cook them on 350 for 1/2 hour. You might get away with 325 for 1/2 hour. I'm still trying to figure them out. They become very apple sauce otherwise. Its nice though. REALLY nice. I feel like it's almost cheating because it tastes so yummy! Cinnamon is known to be anti-microbial so in this season bring it on! Many of the 'holiday' spices seem to be good for the immune system. I bet our fore sister's knew what they were doing when they made these the spices of the winter months. I now not only see them as 'the winter spices' but also the 'beat the cold' spices.

I am enjoying reading the blogs I follow. Keep it up gals! You give me a lot to think about and teaches me so much. One of the bloggers is still bloging into her p3 and p4 phase pretty regularly.. you know who you are! I LOVE YOU FOR IT! :) That is totally awesome because you don't see that very much, if at all. Because of her I feel very confident going into these phases at one point and learning so much of what she is doing. Thank you!

The weather is a bit deary here, but to me it says cuddle in a warm blanket and watch old tv favorits. :) We were starting to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang yesterday. It was nice.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Friday, October 16, 2009

R1P2: Day 66 of VLCD

Weight: 242 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 41.8 lbs

I lost 0 today, but feeling really good because our house is coming together. I am getting a little bored with food, but even in 'RL' that happens from time to time. I'm tired and just not feeling inspired.

I hope to start lossing tomorrow. I'm tired so I think I will take a bath!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

R1P2: Day 65 of VLCD

Weight: 242 lbs
Loss of: .6
Total Loss: 41.8 lbs

I'm happy to report a loss of weight today. Decent amount too for me.

Not to jinx myself, but here it goes: I have 16 days left in this month to lose 6 lbs. I can hopefully stick with my current trend to achieve the 15 lbs I want to lose per month. Last month because of the slight gain I slipped from 15 to 14.something last month. But close enough.

I have to content with Thanksgiving next month so if I can lose at least 2 more lbs more this month I can deal with a possible no loss/2 lb gain for Thanksgiving. heh.

I am going to make some p3 approved dishes for Thanksgiving and go with that, we will see. I would love to take a p3 break at home to just eat some of those yummy dishes like cauliflower pizza and pumpkin pie made w/ real pumpkin and a nut crust. mmm. That sounds so good. Maybe a nut crust w/ peanutbutter (no sugar added). Use coconut oil w/ my food. I'm mentally ready to ride this through till December. I have the cruise and my family coming from the East Coast that is motivating me to lose to 200. Then I don't mind taking a little break. Maybe a good 6 week break, then continue.

Though I know January 1st I will be wanting to continue because March is my vacation month and I'm going SOMEWHERE for my vacation! I've gone to Mexico every year for the last 7-8 years though we skipped 1 year due to our son being born. So we are either going to Hawaii w/ the Inlaws, or going to Mexico w/ the Parents. Either way I think I want to be around 150 for that. Yes, I play the numbers game w/ myself. And for once I'm actually doing okay.

I'm running out of clothes in my closet to try on. Heh. I got rid of a bunch of clothes so I am limited to a couple nice pieces that I am fitting into now, but are a bit tight. Maybe another 30 lbs for the flowingness of them. I hope to wear these for the cruise.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

quick update- out with the food

So, I am going through my pantry (for my MIL who reads this- there is still plenty) right now and I am finding it tiring to go through foods. Some food bank is going to be wealthy off of us.

Who knew that Campbell's Tomato Soup has High Fructose Corn Syrup??? I much rather make fresh because it's yummier and just as simple. I can say what goes into the recipe.

There is just a lot of 'general good mommy cook' foods that are crap. The Stoffers Stuffing also has the HFCS. :( I weeded out the weeds and left the gems alone. I did start to pack up my pantry with organic stuff so that stays.

We like to keep a pantry stocked for the possible emergency situation. I also like to keep it stocked just because I don't like going shopping every other day. When my husband did contract work for a big company he would take 3 months off to enjoy family and then go back to contract, I would like to stock up enough so I didn't have to buy groceries either much. Save a little while he took the time off.

I think it's just smart to stock up on food, but I want it to be good wholesome foods. My cans of beans all have sugar. I want to get dried beans in a bucket and then just take out a couple cups full and make it a week at at time.

I want to go to more 'whole foods' storage, bulk like that is so much healthier and since on this diet you can't open up from a can when you want, we are learning to cook pretty wholesome and from scratch. Now modify that for p3 and then p4 when all foods are open to us, but we stay with whole foods. We would manage ourselves a bit better I think.

We can still have our 'junky' foods but w/ wholesome ingredients it won't be so devastating to us.

R1P2: Day 64 of VLCD

Weight: 242.6 lbs
Loss of: .6
Total Loss: 41.2 lbs

I feel like I am 99.9% over this cold now. Makes me feel good. We will see how my son fairs. He seems to have the flu or something. Though he threw up only 2 times and they were spaced more than 24 hours apart. He was even going up to bed w/o prompting.

I've been eating apples every night and I am enjoying it. I enjoy certain apples and the honeycrisp have me hooked.

I tried some roasted cauliflower last night. I forget how yummy roasted cauliflower is. I put my chicken and cauliflower in a roasting pan for our toaster oven and 350 for 20 minutes and its done. YUM!

We have been moving the living room around. This is, I think , the final resting place for my computer now. We will see. I'm going for a more clean look, we tend to put too many activities in one room and it gets visually over cluttered and I get unhappy w/ too much visual clutter. It's been challenging but I tell myself that the junk in the corner will be gone through and everything will get a home that is their own, even if that means the garbage! :)

I have been feeling pretty good about my late weight loss. It's been pretty good numbers, even if they slipped a little into the the lower end, but its still a loss and I will take it. I've kept my water up, I even have taken those bread tabs you get on the loafs of bread packaging and used them as my markers for water. I keep forgeting to mark it on the white board, but I thought if I am by the sink I can just take one out every time I fill up my 1liter container.

It's been nice. I have heated up water in our water boiler, then I have a 1liter bottle w/ a bit of plain stevia drops and then I mix it together w/ tea bags. quick and tasty.

Monday, October 12, 2009

R1P2: Day 62 of VLCD

Weight: 243.6 lbs
Loss of: .6
Total Loss: 40.2 lbs

Okay- I was a little off on my numbers. TODAY I hit my 40 lbs GONE!!!! :D :D :D

DANCE DANCE DANCE! I love milemarks. I feel so acomplished.

I have slowed down from 1 to .8 then .6 so either my TOM is slowing me down, but I did 1. drink a lot of water late in the day, not throughout the day.
2. Eat zucinni
3. Have come down with a cold.

I'm going to take it easy. I think we all are, we got our floors down and the husband is SO sore that we all need a good day off. We will continue to move furniture later. At least we got our computer stations up. heh.

I've been drinking a lot of warm water with lemon, but no honey. Sigh. I had some cinnamon w/ apples to see if that would help. I hear that cinnamon would be good for colds. But I think I need more then a sprinkle.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

R1P2: Day 61 of VLCD

Weight: 244.2 lbs
Loss of: 1.8
Total Loss: 39 lbs

1lb away from being 40 lbs lighter!! :D

I've had some great losses these last 4 days. I'm so happy. It totally covers up the poor loss of the start of the week. heh.

I've cut out beef and eat cod and chicken in various ways. It's been nice actually. I had cut chicken in slices and cooked it and put it on sliced uncooked tomatoes. Oh that was good.

Our floors are almost done in the living room. It looks really good. Hence why I didn't post yesterday. I am on a borrowed computer. I want my computer back soon! It's been such an adventure to update our living room though. :D

My husband hasn't had great losses in the last two days, but he might be retaining water and he worked very hard yesterday.

Friday, October 9, 2009

R1P2: Day 59 of VLCD

Weight: 246 lbs
Loss of: 1
Total Loss: 37.8 lbs

Well something kick started my body.

I did drink a whole lot of water, I stopped hCG for the day yesterday and started again today. I did eat beef yesterday only because we had a preplanned dinner w/ a friend. He has been so supportive. We eat the same meat, he just eats more of it, he likes lean meats to begin with. He was happy we actually got on board. lol. He brings a couple sides for himself, and we make our side. No fuss, no muss. :D

I drank tea in the morning as well. We will stay away from beef though and I will eat seafood and chicken.

Today we have to empty our living room and tomorrow we are putting down wood flooring. sigh. this is going to be intersting. Wish me luck.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

R1P2: Day 58 of VLCD

Weight: 247 lbs
Loss of: 1
Total Loss: 36.8 lbs

After talking to my doctor we have agreed on a 'no hcg' day. She has had great results with people taking 1 day off of their hcg and then losing good weight again.

We will see. Today I lost a whole pound. No beef. We have eliminated beef for right now. We will have some though tonight because we preplanned with a friend and I don't want to change it on him. But other than that we will limit if not eliminate beef from our diet for a bit. (I hope this will help me lose my 30 lbs sooner as well)

I've switched to drinking green tea in the morning. It is suppose to help boost the metabolism. Tonight I receive some Oolong tea. I would like to see how that tastes, I just don't remember.

One of the things I am looking forward to on the cruise is their 'tea time'. I hear they have a 'around the world' tea time to try various teas. I think they focus it on Indian Tea, but I'm not 100% sure. I would love to try some more Indian teas. I do have an Assam Tea that I really enjoyed.
On my 30th b-day party I had a 'tea party' and everyone had to bring 1 tea to share with the rest of us. It was so fun because these people that came really knew their teas and I got to try some amazing teas!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

quick update

I will be changing my blog name. For some reason I switched the C and the G around. We are on HCG.. not HGC. heh. Also- though I love games and stuff, this is about my weight loss journey- so I want to update that theme too. :)

R1P2: Day 57 of VLCD

Weight: 248 lbs
Loss of: .8
Total Loss: 35.8 lbs

Well, weighing this morning was encouraging and fruitful! :) I did talk to my doctors office and they will get back to me today. She has a lot of folks take a 1 day break and get back on the horse w/ the meds. We will see if they still want that for me.

I did have apples before bed because I was hungry. I thought if this is happening anyways, I'm eating apples. they are so freaking yummy and they are on the list. If I was slowing my loss, I might as well enjoy my b-day gift! heh. I had 1/2 an apple anyways. I hope to enjoy the 2nd 1/2 today. :)

I will be monitoring my hungries today as well. I wonder if I was all flustered so I wasn't really 'real hungry' because I was so upset about the 3 days. :P I am a drama queen at times. :P Though my family would disagree and say all the time. :P heh.


Grapefruit for breakfast.

I had 3.5 oz tuna and 4 oz salad for lunch (not enough salad actually)

I had 4oz chicken w/ tomato salsa (added .3oz of onion) and a huge side of Celery.
YES I mixed veggies a lot, but I was hungry and didn't really care. I have done this dinner before w/ results. I enjoyed it a LOT.

1/2 of an amazingly wonderfully delicious apple. Honey Crisp. Hard, and slightly sweet. YUM!

I even had a tiny bit of my mother's lotion because I was so chapped on my hands. My hands are suffering right now. SO dry they are pealing a little. YUCK! So I am going to try another bit of my mom's lotion.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

R1P2: Day 56 of VLCD

Weight: 248.8 lbs
Gain of: .2
Total Loss: 35 lbs

Anyone have that happen where it seems your stalling or slightly gaining but your on protocol?

What normally is going on with your body?

I shoulnd't get my period for another week, but never had this happen. I'm not hungry, I ate dinner late last night and didn't have my fruit. All the foods I have eaten I have lost the next day. Build up of certain foods?
I have had BM's.

No clue. I hope this is not the end of the rope for this round, we will see. I want to wait out the week before I get too freaked out. Okay. Too late. :P

Monday, October 5, 2009

R1P2: Day 55 of VLCD

Weight: 248.6 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 35.2 lbs


I swear, I put down a goal and my body works against me. LOL. :P I feel really good today though, I have worked on cleaning up a mountain of paperwork. My mother in law motivated me to redecorate/organize my house to make it look nicer. I have let it slip lately, it became such a redundant piece of work that seemed to get messy no matter what I did.

I did put a chair out to get rid of, that opened up the living room a lot. We will want to move our childs play area to the linoleum dinner area that we don't use. It is already really being used for my son anyways, might as well put it all in one place.

I feel refreshed. THe place I had a pile of papers will go a nice vase of flowers. :) I used to have shelves and stuff with pretty things, and then I was like 'well this isn't functional' so I got rid of the pretty stuff and put in it's place functional stuff, and now the room looks too cluttered. So I am going back to a balance of both.

I am eating zucchini and it seems to be okay. I am going to take out the apple and see what that does again to me. BUt I got these amazing apples from a friend and they were so fragrant I had to have one. :) Not over indulge, but instead of a raspberry or strawberry fruit, I went for an apple dessert. I might have to take out apples. SIgh.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

R1P2: Day 54 of VLCD

Weight: 248.6 lbs
Gain of: .2 lb
Total Loss: 35.2 lbs

Feeling like I am retaining a little water. My hands felt a little fat. :) heh.

I made a yummy dish today. I slightly carmelized onions and mixed it with tuna. It was nice, along with favorite spices.

Last night we had my b-day dinner, and I had crab w/ salad. Nice. We had baked apple afterwards that I brought. It was nice.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

R1P2: Day 53 of VLCD

Weight: 248.4 lbs
Loss of: .6 lb
Total Loss: 35.4 lbs

I have started a necklace with beads. Each bead represents a 5lb loss. Today I can add a 7th bead to that necklace! :) Happy!

I have moved to drinking coffee in the morning, having a grapefruit.
Eating lunch, will limit my beef to 4 times a week and only at lunch
Eating fruit before dinner, then having a nice dinner.
Drinking tea after I eat, and drinking a few cups full before bed.

I have included some smart water. From now on I like to add 4oz of smart water to my daily water. I don't like the waste that it will produce, but we reuse the bottles, but still. Also I don't need WHOLE bottles per day either. Don't want to over due it.

I got probotics in my system, I will be taking 1 a day or every other day to keep good stuff in my stomach.

We go to my parents for my b-day dinner tonight. My dad bought a fresh crab (sigh) so that is what I will enjoy tonight, on a bed of lettuce. :) yummy!

I plan on buying some calamari. I okayed it with my doctor. I prefer the rings, (of course not breaded) and not little tentacles. shiver.

I got a really great book from my husband this morning. A book I have wanted for a long time and had on my amazon list. It's nice when he listens to my wishes. :) heh. Instead of getting me some random thing. I love books, and I love learning about history!

Friday, October 2, 2009

R1P2: Day 52 of VLCD

Weight: 249 lbs
Loss of: .8 lb
Total Loss: 34.8 lbs

Good day! I am feeling a bit better. Feeling a little bloaty but everything seems to be starting to work fine.

I would have hoped for a bigger loss overall, but not complaining too loudly!

I'm going to be drinking coffee in the morning from now on to help me a little. I'm going to continue taking my prenatal vitamin, potassium, but will include a probotic and magnesium into my diet. My mother in law knows a LOT about minerals and vitamins and went through my teas and stuff last night and helped me understand what each thing would do. In the end, it was about getting rid of water. I bought 3 teas that did almost the same thing. LOL. A Weight loss tea, A detox tea, and a smooth move tea. Well, I got more tea to last me longer. :)

I plan to eat fruit before meals, and drink teas after my meals. I do want to try harder at getting to bed earlier.

I have a cruise Dec 5th, I will be doing a p3 for a week, then going back into p2, but I decided: If I lose 30 lbs before Thanksgiving, I will talk to the doctor about taking a longer p3 to include Thanksgiving. I want to comfortably fit into my size 18 clothes and look good for an airline seat. Thanksgiving is 1 day, but I would have to give up 10 additional good loss days. That could be an extra 5-7 lbs. worth of weight for 1 day. I can still eat some Turkey (1 day won't kill me) and make some cauliflower thing. It will be a 'planned' cheat day worked w/ my doctor.

I would honestly want cauliflower mash, turkey and some cranberry sauce. That to me is Thanksgiving food, then being able to have good conversation! I know I won't be able to eat the sauce. That is okay.

I feel right now good about losing that 30 lbs by Thanksgiving. We will see. I will stay on course! :)