R1P2: Day 78

Weight: 236.6 lbs
Loss of: 0
Total Loss: 47.2 lbs

SIGH! I am jinx'ed
I will lose a ton of weight right after the Calendar turns to November to elude me of my 15 for October, I just know it. :P I told myself, there is really no way I can miss my 15 lb mark before October. I would have to lose less then .2 every day... Well 2nd day of NO LOSS!

I'm not depressed but I'm pissed. heh. It's personal. I drank a TON of water yesterday. I wonder if that is making it happen. I am eat a mustard that has calories and the ingredients are totally okay. It does have vinegar, but I don't think they use vinegar that uses sugar? sigh. I will lay off that mustard for a moment. I don't think that's it though because I was using it before the 2 days of no loss.

I ate:
Breakfast: Usual Grapefruit
Lunch: Meatloaf on top of a 'bed' of tomatoes
Dinner: Fish and onion roasted w/ mustard
(that mustard is adictive so it MUST be bad)

Thought for the day:
Even if you don’t love your body, love yourself. We are not our fat. That Is the abuse we have put into our bodies, those fat cells are the over indulgence we have allowed ourselves, but they are like a shirt we have in our closet.

If you don’t love yourself, find out why. What is it about yourself that you detest? Then make peace with it. If your upset that you let yourself get your body where it is today say sorry and move on! We can’t afford to sit and hate ourselves any longer. We are our best advocate. We are our own spokesperson! Love the person within because we all make big mistakes but it's really who recovers from those mistakes that count! I always tell a customer service person when I have a problem and they apologize that the problem happen is "Mistakes will happen, it's the way you guys fix the mistake that counts whether I will come back or not"

We are now fixing this mistake that we made. We can see it as a 'quick fix' but you know, we are sticking to it, we see hope and we are taking care of ourselves. Don't punish ourselves any longer, and if you do, then find out why you hate yourself so muh to make it fat, it might be an external thing. I got fat because I didn't know how to eat, I then let it become a situation of not being lonely, then a situation of 'if I get fat no one will find me attractive and my husband won't be jealous and untrusting of me' .. I have had some long hard work on those issues and I even got a councilor involved. We can't always fix our problems alone. Please reach out to someone that you see suffering because we SHOULDN'T have to fight these personal demons alone!
One of the amazing things I find with reaching out sometimes is that I learn a ton in the process.

Life is not just smiling, but a combo of smiling and having smiling faces back at ya! :) It's amazing to smile at a total stranger and seeing if they smile back at you.