R4P2: Day 9

Weight: 176.2 lbs
Total Loss: 10
Total over all: 107.6

I want to say that everyone's feedback as been just as invaluable as you seem to to find my posts lately! Thank you SO MUCH! I thrive on outward acceptance and praise. Sometimes it seems like a shortcoming of mine, but hey, you better understand that I might also be a person who sincerely appreciates the praise you dole out!! I will carry you and your wonderful words in my thoughts all day long!!! :)


Theme Tonight: Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Words that jumped out: the clutter resembled an archaeological dig- small stacks of artifacts. Spirituality, simplicity and serenity - sacred Trinity. None of the great spiritualist had junk drawers.

I think her idea was to clear the junk drawers, clear your soul for simplicity, Spirituality and serenity. I found another meaning to apply to our hcg journey.


Within the clutter find the meaningful. As an archaeological dig might seem to unearth a mound of rocks, these rocks have meaning within them that might not be apparent right away or to others.

Do not simply discard our clutter calling it useless. We have bought, found and collected many of these things for a reason. In that reason I think we might find our inner problems or challenges to overcome, and be able to release them like butterflies.

I look into my desk. I have a desk that my parents gave me after my grandmother died. This desk belonged to my grandfather. It was the desk I used to climb on as a little girl to look out a window at the school across the street during visits to Germany. But this is a story about the clutter, not the desk, though it's a cherished piece of mine, yet I fill it with clutter.

I do have business cards or business card items that I find useful, but I found: 3 cherry lip glosses, a shell, 2 of the SD cases (little plastic holders), and this plastic knob thing I know goes to some massage machine I can't find. I keep the knob particularly because 'what if I find that darned machine' yet I don't want to use it because it is not in my life now and i Don't feel it's loss. But I want to try to keep all the pieces so if I give it to charity, They want all the pieces I bet!! I do this with my son's puzzles I have bought for him in the last several years along with various boxes full of stuff.

I keep it out of fear.

Why do you keep your clutter? Out of excess? Did you get fat because you had a psychological issue you couldn't deal with?

Is it still there?

Just because we become thin in our body, we don't necessarily become healthy in our mind. These things will ultimately impede us from having long term healthy body success.

Why do you own the clutter? Why did you allow yourself to own the clutter of your body? Do you have a hard time saying no? Do you have a mentality of 'live today, die tomorrow so who cares what I fill my body with?' Do you find yourself having a hard time controlling your urges?

I love to be addicted to things. I find healthy legal things so no one bothers me. Yet food became just as addictive as a drug. The acceptable drug apparently. No one cringes and says something when you eat a plate of pasta. My fat came from that sort of food. I stayed away from soda most of the times and never would indulge in a donut. Loading was my first in over 15 years I allowed myself a donut.

My body clutter came from emotional eating. I HATED to be left out of anything. I would eat what was around me to be part of something. I would eat 3 meals because I didn't want to be left out of the different dinners. I didn't want to be left out. Jenny Craig specifically failed the day I sat down at Lunch with my tomato soup and everyone else had Clam Chowder. I held up my arms and said 'I'm done! and I hate tomato soup'

This is what each pound represents. The years of not wanting to be alone. I still hate being alone, but I have filled it with other things. I fill that void with the love I know my family has for me. My time with my son. With the Hobbies I enjoy, and bath time with the door closed. These will only bring me more joy in my life.

I think if we understand what the clutter we are about to throw away represents, then we can not only throw away that old eyeliner, but we can throw away our fear of whatever plagues us.

So, What does your clutter represent?