R4P2: Day 6

Weight: 178.2 lbs
Total Loss: 8
Total over all: 105.6
Lbs left to lose to get to 123.8: 54.4

Hello All! Today was a good day. I got to garden. Since both my husband are on hHCG we were winded pretty quickly, yet we got enough done to feel okay about it.
We moved a LOT of things around. I pulled up a 'fake grass' area to create a more natural backyard. Stone paths and create a sitting area in an area I had given up on, though I love it so much. So I am clearing it out and putting chairs. That will take a while. I will show pictures one day!

So I have an idea. I got the book "Simple Abundance: A daybook of Comfort and JOy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach a LONG time ago. Never really used it much. Maybe a day or two. I was being such a perfectionist that I would wait for Jan 1st to role around so I could start to use the book. HA!
Well, today I started working it, so I am going to try to, regardless if I am in a round our not, post here what I read and how it relates to hcg and the whole protocol.

So today's topic: Progress, Not Perfection!

Doesn't that scream so loudly to us? Some words that popped out: 'perfectionism is self abuse", "Perfectionists rarely know a moments peace" and "It's real and it's wonderful" in response to a craft the woman made to show it doesn't have to be like the magazine.

I think that sometimes we push ourselves to be so perfect we set ourselves up for failure. We also don't take risks either. But we did didn't we? We started the HCG diet even though we might have had doubts that it would work for us! But now we have to realize that whatever our bodies become, they won't be these picture perfect model quality bodies, yet they will be healthy!

My husband has picked out, online, several bikini's he hopes to see me in when I am down to my goal weight. I look at my thighs currently and I get so depressed that I won't be able to look great in said bikini. I won't have that 'perfect body' but that won't stop me from trying to acquire the goal weight, and also- if I don't get to my prescribed goal weight, will I be a failure?? Should I KILL myself with hcg to get to a particular number, though the body in the mirror is something I can fall in love with, or already have? Do I need to get into a magical numbered clothing size? NOPE! Well okay, I do want to get back into size 8 at least. heh.

I also think about the perfectionistic want to do the diet PERFECTLY and it doesn't help that the Doctor sort of says so on page 44 of his manual, though if we do listen to him then we 1. shouldn't do the diet w/o a doctor and 2. Use injections.
Not saying we should do a free for all on pizza during a round, I'm saying that maybe if we make a mistake once in a while (not a planned force eating) we shouldn't feel like such failures. I hear a lot of folks saying 'if you do one thing wrong you will never stabilize and the whole diet would have been a waste'. I get wrapped up in that idea and what to believe, but at the same time, should we expect ourselves to be 'perfect' on the diet. Maybe we should strive for 'complete clean' because we know it would be good for us, but not kill ourselves over real mistakes. Real life happens and we need to be okay with that. Find out why you did it, there might be some self sabotage going on.

If you find that the diet is TOO hard to be on. I would suggest stopping and go find a shrink. Go to therapy and get yourself mentally clean before you get yourself physically clean. I swear it does wonders. I started out eating to fill an emotional void. I have cleaned my mind of that. I eat to nourish and for great tasting food. Now a days, 'great tasting' has taken on the meaning: Good wholesome ingredients, fresh and high quality. I will splurge for the 'cleaner' chocolate that is healthier for me. Just because it tastes so wonderful, plus only eat small bites. (not on p2 of course)

I do have a big food issue though now. I have to stop eating when full and satisfied. I'm dealing with the 'clean your plate' syndrome. It even happened today with my chicken and salad. :P I could have stopped 3 bites ago. So that is my work.

So realize, Your real! and your Wonderful! We make ourselves more and more wonderful every day. Take care and I plan to talk to you all tomorrow!