Weight: 173.8 lbs
Loss Today: 0
Total Loss: 12.4
Total over all: 110
No gain, no Loss. I don't remember what I said about that, if it was a sign to stop. At least I didn't get a big loss to tempt to stay on. I have decided to stop this round. With the fact that I only took a 10 day break between these two rounds seem to make it okay to stop at day 15.
I do not consider myself weak or just wanting food. I'm listening to my body and it says STOP! I was letting my mind get in the way, over think it, and then worry about what everyone else will think. SCREW IT! I don't have time to make everyone happy. hehe. Your on your own about that! ;)
I will continue to blog. I'm curious- if anyone answers I will take it into consideration: Do you want me to continue to blog about hcg w/ these themes? Or do you want me to also take p3/p4 (whatever phase I am in) to cloud my thoughts? Though I think most of the blogs lately have just been about the adventure of weight loss, and we have included p3/p4 as a part of that really right? anywho. Sigh. I'm over thinking aren't I?
Tonight's Theme: The Fullness of Nothing
In my face words: Never assume that the people in your life, especially those closest to you, won't innocently meddle in your internal affairs while you're on the path to authenticity. empty space or 'shroud' of the unknown. empty space pregnant with possibilities.
While we are on the path of losing weight, and becoming the thin folk that we are becoming, I think there is a lot of input from the peanut crowd. Sometimes we like it, but other times it's just irritating like a little tiny fly in the ear. I most realize this with other people and your kid. Leave me alone, I know what I am doing to my kid and I will pay the shrinks bills if I mess him up! ;) I think the only way for us to be authentic is to take in the words of others, but then to spit them out if we don't find ourselves mirroring them. Dump it! I think it is okay to internalize what someone says, but honestly, if it's garbage, throw it out and don't worry about it. If you know something is garbage we don't wonder "Should that have gone away?" otherwise there might be a hint of truth in it, and we should wonder why it bothers us? But that is another thing for another time.
The journal talked a lot about negative space. Like a bare table. It holds your negative space. Designers and artists know this one. Sometimes I wonder if people have to fill up everything with anything to feel full. But then you have no clarity. I think the same thing goes for weight loss, mentality and schedules. We need 'empty' space to allow ourselves to think, to come up with new ideas, and to take a breather. We need to allow for that 3 hour block to stay empty so we can use it ourselves. (personally- we always filled up our calendars if we didn't put something in them. Of course I am free on Tues at 3pm, though I really just wanted to stay home and clean a little. I now put in 'putter off time' or 'me and hubby sit on our butts day' so that i can't fill it up and can tell people "yup, busy" )
I think we need that negative space to fill up our minds from time to time so we can just go crazy and do free thinking. Like with our kids. I have taken a serious notion that my kid will not be overbooked, really just booked into anything. I might sign him up for a preschool a couple times a week, and maybe 1 activity that seems fun to mingle, but nothing like I see other mothers doing. Not only are they going crazy with all the travel. I truly feel that kids, along with any other human, needs 'putter off time'. They need to do whatever they feel like it w/o rules for a little while. Unstructured time. Especially during p2, I think we need time to sit and think about what we are doing, and just let the mind wander. Or just sit and stare at a blank wall to allow our thoughts to unravel onto the floor.
What mental shelf are you willing to clean clear today?
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I've been catching up on my blogs and just read yours. I started getting dizzy/vertigo type symptoms when I made certain movements too. I still get them a little bit but not as bad. I didn't take any supplements. I think one person who's blog I read actually passed out when she got up from the floor in a book store. I think the VLCD has a lot to do with it. Low sugar levels in the blood stream. I don't think it's too alarming but should be noted.
ReplyDeleteYou've made the decision to stop and I think it's a good decision. You've done a lot of days of HCG without taking time to do phase 3 and phase 4 in between. You've toughed it out much much much longer than I could have.
Yes I do think you should keep blogging if you'd like to. P3 and P4 are really important and I would like to know how it goes for you.
Please keep blogging, no matter what phase you are doing. I just found you!
ReplyDeleteWhat you're writing about now is very interesting - it shows the place where you're at emotionally and spiritually and you give some really valuable insight.
ReplyDeleteP3 and P4 is where individuals start to vary what we're eating and how we're doing the phases. Whereas on P2 we're all following the smae eating plan. Experience and lessons learned shared for P3 and P4 lessons and learning is really valuable.
Hey, Steffi- that was me that Meli is referring to-- passing out on the bookstore floor! It was because my blood pressure had gotten SO low, down to 70-something over 50-something !!!! I believe it was because I was taking 3 turmeric caplets a day, which I was taking to help with my P3-transition symptoms-- gall bladder related. However, what I didn't realize was that another side effect of turmeric is lowering your blood pressure!!!! And I normally have high blood pressure, and am on meds for that. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteI still think your light-headedness is potassium related.
I think its good that you're stopping for the moment. Please keep blogging, about whatever you feel like posting about. I always learn so much from your posts!
love ya!