R1P2: Day 86

Weight: 232.4 lbs
Loss of: .8
Total Loss: 51.4lbs
Body Fat: 46.1%

I am feeling better. I was up till about 3am talking with the husband about various things that bothered me. We woke up a little earlier then expected, still got a decent loss. But I lost several pounds of stress though. I feel hopeful today.

We have the living room pretty much settled. Now I want to tackle my craftroom/storage/wrapping area. I have shelves that I want to put up, plus take down a bed frame that we thought we were going to have guests on. The room is a mess. I want to put all my stuff like clothes in there. Make it my own space I can retreat to do things. Be more organized.

I also sew dice bags. I need to make more to sell at the local comic store, and I want to put some up on Etsy if possible. I have a site on there, just haven't had the guts to try to sell my stuff. I should. They are really good bags. Fun fabrics I have gotten!

Yesterday was a bad day. Today will be a good day. I did no exercise yesterday. I told the husband I have a real problem doing yoga on the Wii board, but I LOVE the games, but I feel like if I get on there I need to do yoga, so I just have been avoiding it. I feel extremely inspired by christyinseattle to do strength/toning exercises. She said that in a short amount of time she has seen results. I don't want to push myself since I do 500 calories, but come on, I can do 30 minutes on my Wii every day at least!

I think she also mentioned, or was it someone else on a post, said taking a weight behind my head and pumping iron, or a heavy object. That should get my droop that women tend to get smaller!

I've enjoyed catching up on blogs last night in the bathtub. I am going to tape more shows also on my tivo to transfer on my ipod. I would like a show or two as well to veg out to. But honestly- your blogs are so insightful and humorous at times, it trumps a show! :) heh. Miss Mary- those pictures have me laughing so hard. Too funny. And I saw a youtube video in this blog (Brandi) that is worth watching. I watched another video, and yes it's about being fat and proud but still it's great on how we feel when we get heavy. To be more then our fat, and be proud woman. I think it's great we are all losing weight because it is healthier for us and we can move.

Though the most recent post of Caitlin was very moving I still find this post on of my most heart touching stories. Isn't that what all mother's want to be able to do? Play with their children in a very active way!

Last night, as I went to bed, and I couldn't sleep I was thinking of what my 'weight story' was. One particular thing that came to me while I was laying there was how my 2 brothers and my father would make fat jokes about me when I was thin. I don't think I had body images as a kid/tween/teen. I really don't but then it hit me that the guys in my family were mean to me. They were all simply joking about it, and did say 'if it became a problem they would stop the jokes', Personally I think we all got older and stopped joking around. But why? Why hurt like that? So either I don't get the jokes and know they think I am fat, or I get called fat at a ripe old age of 11.
I wish I could post a pic, but all the pictures are glued into my 'childhood/baby book' :P but I was a total geek, never fat, just a real big geek. Dork. Yes, that is a better word. A total dork until highschool. Then I got some fasion sence, barely. heh.
Then if I got hurt or offended at my family they were all 'relax it's just a joke' :P Whatever. It was a moment in my life that never really bothered me as much as I think it should have to a point. I knew I wasn't fat, but then why make fun of me? I don't understand. I'm more perplexed then upset.

Thanks everyone for being there for me! :) I appreciate this blogging circle we have created! :)